OMG! I won something!

I never win anything! I am still in shock.

I went to an event last night where you wear a pair of fabulous heels, and you get judged, and there are prizes. And I won! In these killer Louboutins:
Yes, they're very bright, and no, they're not the "classic" sort of thing I usually buy, but look at them! I thought they were stunning as soon as I saw them, so even if I do only get one season out of them, that's fine with me. Plus, they'll be back in fashion in about 10 years anyway, when the 80s come around again.

Anyway, I won! I was so happy! Finally, having a fabulous collection of shoes is paying off! This event is held every month, so I think I'm going to become a regular. Last night's first prize was a $250 voucher at a reputable hair salon. The funny thing about that is, I have recently been saying that I might like to get a hair style. I know that sounds weird from a girl, that I "might like" to get a hairstyle. But I have a morbid fear of hairdressers. I used to have a really cool hairstyle, and a great colour, but then my hairstylist left the salon I was going to, and no one would tell me where he went. So I saw someone else and they completely ruined my hair. That was when I was 21. The next 7 years haven't been any more successful. Every time I visit a hairdresser, I walk away vowing never to go back again. They don't listen to me. I want something low maintenance, and long enough that I can put it up without using any pins/clips. There is nothing more irritating to me than putting my hair up and still having bits fall in my face. But hairdressers don't listen. They assume they know what's best. So it has now come to the point where I just grow my hair really long and then go in once a year to get it cut to my shoulders, and start again. And even then, they somehow manage to screw it up. They always think layers are a good option, even when I tell them I just want it blunt cut across the bottom, and nothing else. I hate hairdressers.

So yes. I am somewhat excited about getting a free hairstyle, but also petrified they're going to ruin my hair like every other hairdresser in the last 7 years. And I don't even know what sort of hairstyle I'd like! My problem is it has to be very low maintenance, because I already have to get up at 6am, and I'm not getting up any earlier just to do my hair. The shortest bits also have to be long enough to go up without assistance of pins/clips. So it doesn't leave me many options.

Oh well. At least I don't have to pay for it! Wahoo! I am totally going next month and winning again. I think I will wear these Alexander McQueens:

Dilemma

No luck on the house front yet. I swear to fsm, if one more investor from NSW/VIC outbids me on a house, I'm going to go fucking postal on those states. Stop buying all our affordable housing, you greedy bastards!!

My assistant, who I happen to think is fantastic (and yes, that is a rarity for me - I hold very few people in high regard), has a very annoying habit. And I don't know how to approach her about it. Perseus, if you're reading, this post has a TMI warning - look away now!

She goes to the bathroom every morning, and doesn't utilise the toilet brush, if you get my meaning. How on earth do I approach her about it? I mean, we're sort of friends, but I don't think I could even approach a friend about that sort of thing without a lot of embarrassment, let alone someone I have to work with!

Ideas?

In other news, I am entirely not surprised this happened. Bus travel was how I went up the west coast from Santiago to Mexico, and I frequently had a seat up the top at the front (double decker buses). The amount of times I thought we were going to crash with an oncoming truck was at least a dozen. The problem is that the Panamerican is single lane in a lot of places, and when a bus on a schedule gets caught behind a slow moving vehicle, it thinks it's a good idea to overtake. Even on blind corners. The scenery going past was spectacular, but I remember wondering at the time what the crash rate was. Since leaving South America, there has been a volcanic eruption, floods and mudslides, and various vehicular tragedies - all in places I visited. All I can say is, I'm glad I wasn't there at the time.

Real estate agents must sell their soul to the devil

They are so fucking evil and annoying.

We had a list of 6 houses to view on the weekend, 5 of which had been raised. I tried to contact each of the agents before the weekend to ask them if the downstairs was legal height, and none of them would tell me. They just told me I was welcome to come and measure. Here's a thought, numbnuts - perhaps I don't want to waste my time driving all the way there, only to walk through the door, measure the ceiling height and walk out again! I fail to see why it's so fucking difficult to find out what the ceiling height is and get back to me. Grr.

So that's exactly what happened with those 5 houses. None of them were legal height downstairs, so we wasted half a day and lots of fuel driving around to all of them. And one agent even had the nerve to argue with me about it! One of the houses was a very old house which had been built in underneath, and the living areas had been moved downstairs so just bedrooms were upstairs. The bedrooms were fine - they had 10' ceilings. The downstairs was another matter. It was only 2100mm in there. The problem being legal height for a habitable room is 2400mm. So the kitchen was legal, but nothing else was. He asked us what we thought of the property, and we told him we'd probably like it if it was legal height. He then said it was legal height when it was built in, which I know for a fact is a lie. I told him heights had never been that low, and in fact up to the 50s were 8'6", then became 8', and are now 7'10.5" (or 2400mm). He just looked at me, and then tried to save face by saying the owners could only work with what they had! Here's a thought - if it's not legal height, don't build it in!! Morons. There's no way anyone other than a complete idiot is going to buy it when it's not even legal height. If there's a fire or something else, no insurance company is going to pay out once they show up and realise you've been living in a non-habitable space. Idiots.

We did have a small win, though. Because we were induced into signing the last contract because we were told it was legal height underneath, we requested the real estate agent pay us the money we expended on building & pest and legal fees/disbursements. They refused, so we got our solicitors to send them a letter claiming misrepresentation of the property (we had a print out of the advertisement which said it was legal height, etc), and threatening to advise the Office of Fair Trading, as well as take them to court. They must have gotten legal advice and told they were screwed, because they paid us back all of our costs. Wahoo!

I still hate real estates. I don't even understand why anyone uses them in this day and age. Take some nice photos of your property, get a valuation, then put an ad on realestate.com.au. Done and done. Why bother with an agent who's going to take 5% of the sale value? I don't get it. And they don't do anything anyway. They never know anything about the property, and are just generally very unhelpful to potential buyers. William and I have already said when we sell, we'll just sell it ourselves and save ourselves the hassle.

Is it so hard to admit a mistake?

Warning: this post contains TMI!!

I just went to visit my friendly neighbourhood beauty therapist for a wax, which I do once a month. I've never had a problem with her before. Although I do tend to talk about any old shit while I'm lying there, because I find it easier to pretend she's not poking around my lady bits that way.

Anyway, today started out no differently. I was mostly babbling about my new kitten. She was also telling me about her cats (there's probably a pussy joke in there somewhere). And then I noticed she was using a lot of round cosmetic pads. She kept grabbing one, and wiping at something and then throwing it away and getting another one. I figured I might have had a little bleeding or something (my hairs are quite tough and sometimes don't want to come out!) so I didn't bother questioning her, and I figured she might say something at the end. Like, "here's your tee tree oil cream, and I'm really sorry, but you have a small spot of blood, but it's nothing to worry about." She didn't say anything, so after she left, I sat up to get dressed.

And then I noticed that I was covered in blood! I grabbed some more of the cosmetic pads and kept wiping it away, but the blood kept flowing. It was certainly not that time of the month, so it wasn't that. And then I realised. Ever since I can remember (pre-sexual activity also), I have had a small bump right on the tip of my "labia major" (to use the clinical term!). I guess it probably looks a bit like a wart to anyone who isn't me, but it's definitely not one. It's pretty much a birth mark, I guess. I've had it looked at by a doctor before and it's just a growth, although it's been the same size forever, so "growth" is probably not the right word either. In any event, it's always been there.

And now it's not. I don't know what she was doing with wax up that high anyway (there is no hair on that part!), but it appears she has ripped the little bump right off me! I didn't feel any more pain than I usually do (let's face it, wax doesn't exactly tickle, so I'm not surprised), but there is an awful lot of blood.

I pressed a cosmetic pad against it and got dressed, and when I went out to pay, I asked her if the wax had torn some skin or something. She just looked at me and then said no. I said I was just wondering, because it wasn't that time of the month, as it was 2 weeks ago. She asked if I was bleeding, and then asked if it hurt. I sort of looked at her incredulously. I couldn't believe she was denying it! If she had no idea I was bleeding, what was she using the cosmetic pads for? What was she wiping away, and pressing down on? I didn't really care, it's not like I was after a free wax or anything, but I just wanted an acknowledgement that she'd made a mistake and torn off a part of my skin!

I didn't press the issue though. I just told her to never mind, it wasn't an issue, and it didn't hurt.

It's still bleeding though, and that was at 11.15. I hope it stops soon! I'm actually glad to be rid of the bump, because it does irritate me when I go to get a pap smear with a new doctor and they try to tell me I have genital warts or something. And I remember when I was teenager I actually tried to use nail clippers to cut it off (it hurt too much, so I stopped!). So it's nice for it to be gone, but I still would have liked her to acknowledge she ripped it unceremoniously from my body!

Bah!

So it wasn't third time lucky on the house. It turns out the agent misrepresented the house. We repeatedly asked and she repeatedly said it was legal height. Turns out it's 20cm short. Which means the downstairs is not habitable (can only be used as laundry/storage). So unless the owners are willing to drop the house $20k to take into account how much it would cost us to dig further down to lay the slab with enough clearance, we're obviously going to have to pull out. So it's back to the drawing board.

On a cheerier note, I just had coffee with a friend I met on my trip last year. He was on his honeymoon with his new wife (obviously!), and I spent most of the horrid GAP tour I did through Mexico with them. I shall dub him BFG because he's the tallest person I've ever met. I shall dub her Miss Diplomat. It was really amusing, because BFG and I were exactly the same, and Miss Diplomat and William were exactly the same, so it was like watching my own relationship, but in reverse (sort of). Anyway, BFG and I have the exact same sense of humour, and not many people think I'm funny, so it was nice to catch up with someone who actually laughed at my quips (and not just politely!). BFG and Miss Diplomat were the only reason I enjoyed the GAP tour. I would have hated it were it not for them. They were just so friendly and nice, and looked after me when I was sick in Mexico DF.

It was great to catch up with him, and he was telling me about their recent trials at house buying, so we were comparing notes. I have faith William and I will find something decent after speaking to him. It took them 6 months, and they'd nearly given up, but I really do think we will find something fantastic eventually.

The weekend just gone was quite nice too. We didn't yet know about the problems with the house, so we were relaxed. We cleaned the whole house, and then Giggles and I went to a spa and got facials, pedicures and massages - so good! And now my feet look like feet!

Friday night wasn't so good. I was at work until 9pm trying to fix mistakes from the muppet. Still. It baffles me that she managed to fuck up so many things in such a short period of time. I am so thankful Miss Flair is working here now. She is cheery, and competent, and just does what I tell her! It's great! It turns out the muppet also effectively stole close to $4,000 when she left. She had over 167 hours off work "sick", but only claimed 67 hours, because that's all the sick leave she was entitled to during her contract period. The other 100 hours should have come out of her annual leave, but she didn't deduct it, and then just paid out her annual leave when she left. I've spoken to the lawyers, and there's really nothing we can do about it, short of suing her for it. And given her economic situation, I doubt we'd get much. So we're just writing it off.

Seriously, if I ever see her again, I think it will take all of my willpower not to run up to her in the street and throttle her.

House buying is shit

Buying a house is stressful. I mean, I knew it wasn't going to be all fun and games, but I didn't think it was going to be this awful. Finding something decent in our price range was awful. Inspections were awful. Real estate agents are awful. Banks are awful.

And I really don't understand the market at the moment. There is such high demand for properties, you'd think the owners/agents would wait until the end of the week until they'd collected a bunch of offers, and then picked the best one. That would surely be the most beneficial thing for them. Instead, properties are listed one day and either sold that day or the next. It's like people are accepting the first offer they get. It doesn't make sense to me. And it's completely frustrating. We go and view a property and decide to put in an offer, and so call up an hour after we've seen it to let the agent know, and they say it's already under offer! I just don't understand.

Anyway, it appears we may have finally found something. Barring an unfavourable building/pest inspection, it seems it will all go ahead. However, the bank is being an absolute bastard. The mortgage would only be 80% of the property value, so we wanted to borrow a bit more to do some renovations to the place, which would have increased the value of the property by at least 17%, but they wouldn't approve it. I don't understand why. It's not like we can't make the repayments. And it would be increasing the value of the property, meaning that when we revalue it in a year's time, we'd have more equity in the property. It's currently a 3 bedroom house with one bathroom, a small kitchen, and a single carport. We'd build in underneath and turn it into a 4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom, double garage, with an extended kitchen and larger living area. I don't know why they're against it. The broker said something about them wanting us to pay the loan off sooner, but that doesn't make sense. If we did the renovations and revalued it, the bank's interest in the property would be less (say, 70%), which is surely a good thing for the bank. Ridiculous.

So yes. I have mixed feelings about it all. I like the house, but it's not practical for my lifestyle at the moment, but if the bank won't give us the extra money, we won't be able to do anything to it for a while. So we'll effectively be living in limbo, which is shit. If I'd known they were going to do this, I would have kept the deposit and used it for the renovations, and gone for a 100% loan or something. Stupid bank. I really don't want to be one of those people who buys a place with dreams of renovating, and 5 years later they haven't done anything to it. Bleh.

Oh well. I guess we'll see how it all goes.

Curiosity killed the cat

Just in case you were wondering, Christmas was ok, but rather painful. I am not a family person. My parents came around for 8 hours on Christmas day. 8 hours!! I was done after 2. The next day was spent with William's family. Double ugh. This time, it was his extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I have never met any of them before. His uncles seemed relatively normal (not sure what happened to his father), but one of his aunts was so intensely irritating, I wanted to throw the bucket of Christmas punch over her head.

New Year was just as uneventful. We went to bed early after watching a movie.

Yesterday, I decided to perform a little experiment. I am nothing if not a curious person. I have had conversations with friends before where I sometimes wonder if I'm just with William because no one else would put up with me. I mean, I love him, but I sometimes wonder if that's just *because* he puts up with me. Know what I mean? It's hard to explain, I suppose.

I was watching TV over the weekend, and a swath of eHarmony ads caught my attention. Apparently, that site is not the same as RSVP or the others, because they make you fill out a whole ton of questions and then develop a personality profile for you which they use to match you up with other people. I was interested in seeing what sort of people they would match me up with.

I thought about this for the whole weekend, and yesterday while I was bored at work, decided to check it out. Not because I am wanting to leave William (quite the opposite, in fact), or because I want to start some clandestine internet affair with someone else. Just because I was curious. I didn't intend to contact any of the matches, I just wanted to see what sort of people they were.

So I filled out the whole profile, and waited to see who my matches would be and what they'd be like. And you know what? I got 0. Yes, 0. Not one single match. So I waited until this morning, and logged in again. Still 0. It's telling me I need to widen my parameters (like, maybe removing the requirement for them to not have or want children). And then a few hours later it sent through two "flexible" matches. I clicked on the flexible link to see what that meant. It basically told me that because it couldn't match me up with anyone, it had relaxed the requirements for me, and found just 2 people.

I found this all highly amusing. I've already deleted the account. So I was right, in a way. No one else bar William would be able to put up with me. Even the computer says so.