I am so anxious about this trip that I'm starting to think I should just cancel it all and stay home. 8 months off work and uni would be nice no matter where I was.

*sigh*

How about you actually read what I wrote??

Oh for fuck's sake! Did all of you skip over the part where I said, "I agree that sometimes fat people are subjected to some fairly nasty comments, which I don't think is right, but I do think the greater public has an interest in how fat the nation gets."?????

Read what I wrote and stop getting your knickers in a twist! I also didn't say I thought size 16, 18 or 20 was morbidly obese! I merely said that was fat, and it is. It's not morbidly obese, but it is fat, and you can't deny that. I don't care if a size 16 is the average size for a woman in this country - it's still fat. It's certainly not thin!! Someone who is a size 16 would have at least 35% or more body fat, and the "healthy" percentage is around 25% (or 10% for elite athletes).

Let me make this clear - I DO NOT CONDONE PEOPLE MAKING NASTY COMMENTS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE. I don't agree with it. I think it's unnecessary, and should not be tolerated. I do, however, think that if you are that fat that some fucktard has made a comment about you (or numerous people as in the case of the woman whose letter I posted), that perhaps instead of just merely complaining about it in some letter-to-the-editor, you should have a look at yourself, because you'd have to be pretty bloody unhealthy for someone to do that. People don't do that for just normal "overweight" sizes.

In the same way as someone who pierces and tattoos their body beyond what society classes as "normal", someone who is morbidly obese should be emotionally prepared for people to look at them and possibly make comments. I'M NOT SAYING THAT IS RIGHT, merely that it happens. It happens because being morbidly obese is not "normal", and some fucktards in society think it's their right to speak out about what they think isn't "normal."

My only point in the previous post was if you're that unhappy about being that fat, then you should do something about it, instead of just whinging that people are picking on you. That is all.

I AM NOT CONDONING FUCKTARDS MAKING NASTY COMMENTS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE!!!!!

Bah!

All I can say in answer to this is: so lose some fucking weight then, and you won't get ridiculed!

Being fat is not the same as being gay, or African-American, or Asian, or albino, or whatever. People born with those qualities don't get to make a decision about them. They're just born like that - hence why it's unfair to pick on them for it. In most instances, being fat is a lifestyle choice. You want to eat fatty foods? You don't want to exercise? Fine. But don't expect to stay slim. And if you do get fat, but don't want to make new lifestyle choices which might help you become more healthy, then don't fucking complain about it.

I agree that sometimes fat people are subjected to some fairly nasty comments, which I don't think is right, but I do think the greater public has an interest in how fat the nation gets. After all, obese people do put a lot of strain on the health system, which is largely funded by taxpayers. But not just that - do we really want to be a nation of obese people, having to resize our airplane seats, cinema seats, plates and glasses, reinforce surfaces for fatter people to walk over, etc etc? I think it would be a sad day if engineering marvels and great inventions revolved around how to best take care of hugely obese people. I don't want Australia to end up like the ship on Wall-E.

I do realise there are some people out there who aren't fat by lifestyle choice, but by medical conditions, but those people usually aren't obese. They're just a little bit larger than they should be (unless they're also not eating or dieting correctly). And just to make it clear, I think "fat" is a size 16 up. But that also depends on height. I would be obese if I was a size 16, but someone who was tall might be able to pull it off a little better. Still, I think a size 16 for anyone would be edging on the "I think I need to get to the gym" stage. Also, those who have realised they might need to lose a little weight and are doing something about it are not subjects of my wrath. Hehe. I'm currently a size 10 (so about 10kgs overweight for what I should be - I am very short), and have started going to a weight management clinic to try to lose it. I am having all sorts of difficulties because my body doesn't react to diets and exercise the way most people's do. I don't have anything wrong with my thyroid, but there is something medical preventing me from losing this weight. So I do know how hard it can be. It's not that I'm unsympathetic. But let's face it, you'd have to be pretty fucking fat to have people stopping on the street to make fun of you. People don't do that to size 12s or 14s, or even 16s or 18s. Those sorts of comments are usually reserved for the very obese.

So yeah. I can't really tolerate this "woe is me! I'm so fat and people pick on me" bullshit. The answer is simple. Lose some weight. It's something you have control over, unlike the colour of your skin, or your sexual orientation, or the country you were born in. Take some personal responsibility for yourself and stop the whinging.

Very strange feelings

Anyone who knows me can tell you I am not an emotional person. On the outside. I don't cry in front of people, and I'm not really one to show my affection either. The only thing I ever really do show anyone is annoyance or anger, and even then I try to keep it in check. I was brought up with very old-fashioned beliefs, in that you shouldn't show emotions, because people can use them against you. I have therefore perfected a poker face, and no one ever really knows what I'm thinking. Once I trust someone, however, I can start to relax a little. But I really have to concentrate with those people to show emotions in conversations. I think I get a little bit over animated in conversations with them, because I'm trying so hard to be the opposite of what I normally am. I have to force myself to look surprised or shocked and exclaim, "No way!" when a friend tells me something that's happened to them, or to act really happy if something good happens. It's just not in my nature. That's also why I'm absolutely terrible at web cams, because I just sit there with a non-readable face while I'm typing - no smiles, no laughs, no eyebrow movements, nothing. I used to dread guys asking to chat via webcam in my internet dating days, because I knew they'd just think I was boring.

Anyway. There is a point to this. I leave Australia in 21 days. And all of sudden I have a wealth of emotions roaming around in me that are begging to be let out. I was crying in the car this morning on my way to work, just thinking of how much I was going to miss William. I do not do things like that usually. I had to practically force myself to cry at my nana's funeral recently, so for me to just spontaneously burst into tears is just weird. I am not one of those emotional crying girls that guys speak about all the time.

All morning, I have been feeling particularly sad. I think the new girl at work (who, incidentally, is so bloody slow a turtle trying to out-slow a snail would be faster) thinks I'm shitty at her, because I'm barely speaking. I just keep thinking about what a great big thing I am doing, packing up and leaving everyone I know for 6 months (then William comes to see me). I'm not really very close to anyone in my life (except William), so I didn't think it would be such a big deal for me. I think I might have been wrong.

I think I'm going to be a complete mess at the airport when I leave. And now my mother has told me she wants to come to see me off, even though my flight is at 5am. I know it sounds awful, but I don't think I want her and my father there. It will be my last chance to see William for six months, and I sort of just wanted to spend it with him. I can't say anything though, because I think it would hurt her feelings. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with her seeing me so emotional though. I would be embarrassed enough that William was witnessing it, let alone mum and dad. So yeah. Dilemma. I think I'll try to get them to just come for dinner the night before or something.

I don't think this post had a point. I'm just feeling very weird about everything right now.

But on the plus side, I finished a degree on Wednesday, so yay me. I'll be going to my graduation ceremony when I get back, which should be fun.