Moral dilemma

You guys are going to think I am a heartless, unscrupulous, bitch after this post. Although, you probably already do, so hey! Nothing will change!

William and I have been discussing marriage for a while now, and have even booked a venue (even though we're not officially engaged - they were offering a saving of $5,000 if we booked and paid a deposit by 31 December, so we did). We have discussed all manner of things, such as guest lists, dresses, suits, cakes, blah blah blah. And no, I don't force these things on William - he brings up ideas as much as I do (ok, maybe not quite, but he still does!).

Anyway, one thing we had discussed was that we wanted it to be a fun affair, with limited family members and more friends. Neither of us are really family-oriented people, and even though we both have aunts/uncles/cousins/etc, neither of us really speaks to them that much. So we decided we'd have immediate family there, and then the rest of the guests will be friends. It will be a much more celebratory feel instead of worrying about what Great Aunt Maude is thinking as we dance to The Wombats.

Anyway. I had already decided that the only family I wanted there was my mother, stepfather, sister (and her husband, though would I leave him out if I could), stepbrother (and his partner), and my niece (who will be 12). I don't want my nephew there because he's too young, and he's not disciplined. Likewise, I'm not inviting my biological father or his family. My stepfather's mother is already dead, but I would have invited her if she was living. I wouldn't have invited my father's parents because we barely speak, but they're also already dead. Likewise, I was not planning on inviting my mother's parents, because we also barely speak, and also because they're redneck, racist bogans who would embarrass me. But they're both still alive.

I don't dislike my grandparents, but I barely know them, and I really want my wedding to be full of people I really enjoy being around, and don't feel awkward around. So yeah. They weren't on the guest list.

Last week my grandma had a heart attack and ended up in hospital. Whilst there, the doctors discovered she had liver, pancreatic, kidney, lung, throat and tongue cancer, and said she was not likely to be around for much longer.

Out of a sense of obligation, I called her at the hospital to see how she was. She has always been nice to me, and I don't have anything against her, but I just don't know her. I was rummaging around for things to say and ended up telling her about the wedding date, and said she would have to make it to then, because I would like her to attend. It wasn't at all true, but I thought I was safe in the knowledge she wasn't going to be around anyway, and I thought it would cheer her up to hear I was getting married. She met William at my sister's wedding and really liked him.

My mother went to visit her on the weekend, and the doctors told her they now think she won't die within the next year.

And there is my moral dilemma. As soon as she told me this news, my first reaction was relief she wouldn't be dying so quickly. My second was to wonder how I could uninvite her to the wedding. Man, I am such a bitch!