Moral dilemma

You guys are going to think I am a heartless, unscrupulous, bitch after this post. Although, you probably already do, so hey! Nothing will change!

William and I have been discussing marriage for a while now, and have even booked a venue (even though we're not officially engaged - they were offering a saving of $5,000 if we booked and paid a deposit by 31 December, so we did). We have discussed all manner of things, such as guest lists, dresses, suits, cakes, blah blah blah. And no, I don't force these things on William - he brings up ideas as much as I do (ok, maybe not quite, but he still does!).

Anyway, one thing we had discussed was that we wanted it to be a fun affair, with limited family members and more friends. Neither of us are really family-oriented people, and even though we both have aunts/uncles/cousins/etc, neither of us really speaks to them that much. So we decided we'd have immediate family there, and then the rest of the guests will be friends. It will be a much more celebratory feel instead of worrying about what Great Aunt Maude is thinking as we dance to The Wombats.

Anyway. I had already decided that the only family I wanted there was my mother, stepfather, sister (and her husband, though would I leave him out if I could), stepbrother (and his partner), and my niece (who will be 12). I don't want my nephew there because he's too young, and he's not disciplined. Likewise, I'm not inviting my biological father or his family. My stepfather's mother is already dead, but I would have invited her if she was living. I wouldn't have invited my father's parents because we barely speak, but they're also already dead. Likewise, I was not planning on inviting my mother's parents, because we also barely speak, and also because they're redneck, racist bogans who would embarrass me. But they're both still alive.

I don't dislike my grandparents, but I barely know them, and I really want my wedding to be full of people I really enjoy being around, and don't feel awkward around. So yeah. They weren't on the guest list.

Last week my grandma had a heart attack and ended up in hospital. Whilst there, the doctors discovered she had liver, pancreatic, kidney, lung, throat and tongue cancer, and said she was not likely to be around for much longer.

Out of a sense of obligation, I called her at the hospital to see how she was. She has always been nice to me, and I don't have anything against her, but I just don't know her. I was rummaging around for things to say and ended up telling her about the wedding date, and said she would have to make it to then, because I would like her to attend. It wasn't at all true, but I thought I was safe in the knowledge she wasn't going to be around anyway, and I thought it would cheer her up to hear I was getting married. She met William at my sister's wedding and really liked him.

My mother went to visit her on the weekend, and the doctors told her they now think she won't die within the next year.

And there is my moral dilemma. As soon as she told me this news, my first reaction was relief she wouldn't be dying so quickly. My second was to wonder how I could uninvite her to the wedding. Man, I am such a bitch!

Blast from the past

I went to this month's high heel event (rock up in your most fabulous heels, get judged and win prizes), and wore my fabulous McQueens. I won! I was actually a little shocked I won, because there were so many more people there this time, and I thought for sure someone would have better shoes. Plus, there's only one judge, and you never know if they have good taste or not. Case in point, the person who won best bag/shoe combo had the most hideous shoes imaginable. But I think she was the only one whose shoes actually "matched" her handbag (which I consider a big faux pas anyway - who wants to look that matchy matchy?).

Anyway, the event wasn't as good as last time. They'd paired it with a charity event this time, and whilst I'm all for supporting charities, I really don't appreciate attending an event, which is meant to be fun and frivolous and just a good night out with your girl friends, which is then hijacked for a charity. Especially when the woman running the charity then speaks at great length (seriously, it must have been about half an hour) about the disabilities, and the impact, and the funding, and the hard work of the volunteers and blah blah blah. It was so bloody depressing! And not content with that, she then showed a 15/20 minute DVD basically saying the exact same things she'd just said, but with the added emotional blackmail of video footage of said disabled kids. And instead of it being a free cocktail/free canape event as it normally is, they turned it into a paying event.

And apart from the hijacking, it was just so interminably long! I suspect they were dragging it out so people would spend more money at the bar (50% of proceeds were going to the charity). I was really annoyed with the whole thing. I wouldn't have minded supporting the charity if I had known about it beforehand and had been prepared, but I just didn't like my fun and vapid event being hijacked. This probably all sounds very nasty and what not, that I'm complaining about a charity, but honestly, it's just not what I was expecting for the night. As I said, I like supporting charities, but I hate attending an event and then being guilted into handing over money.

Anyway. At the end of the night, they had a raffle draw. The first name pulled out went up and picked up her prize, and I wasn't really paying attention. Then they asked her if she was going to take any friends with her, and she pointed to the two girls sitting with her and said she would be taking them. And then I recognised the accent. Quelle horreur! I couldn't believe who it was!

I don't know how many of you were reading that far back, but you may recall I was at one time involved with a couple. I used to spend a lot of time at their place, and we'd all hang out and sleep together and what not. And then I found out they were married (she was American, and she married him in the States so she could come to Australia. They'd been together since college though). And then the husband started to become a little obsessed with me. He would tell his wife he was going to play golf, and then would show up at my house. And on American Pie's birthday, it all came to a head. I arrived at the venue, and Bruin grabbed my arm before I got inside and pulled me aside into a room. He said he wanted to leave American Pie and wanted to be with me. The only problem was, I didn't want to be with him. And then American Pie found us and started to go mental. She honestly thought I was trying to steal him away. I really wasn't interested in him like that. So yes, it all ended quite badly.

So yes. American Pie won the raffle last night, and I couldn't believe it was her. I have never had the misfortune of running into anyone I have broken up with. They all seem to move interstate. TPO moved to Canberra (after he returned from overseas), IT Boy moved to Melbourne (and married the Asian slave he'd always wanted), Moron #1 moved intrastate, but still far away from Brisbane, and Horse moved to NT. I've never even run into any of the hundreds of guys I went on dates with. So I was just really shocked at seeing her there. I've never been in this situation before. Well, except for Mr Walrus, and it is purely my own choice that I have kept in contact with him. But even he has moved to NSW!

Anyway, we went to leave, and I had to walk straight past her. I was all prepared to pretend I hadn't seen her, but then she called out my name. I had to turn back and pretend to be happy to see her. It was the most awkward moment of my life. It was such a tortured and strained conversation. And at the end of it, I was searching for a way out, so I pulled out the most ridiculous statement ever, said in an extremely weak voice. "Ok, well, I have to go and be with my friends now." I could have died. I felt like such an idiot. But I really had nothing to say to her! I don't even know why she decided to talk to me! And then she gave me her business card and told me to email her! Argh!

So yes. Winning the competition was great, but the rest of the night was pretty awful.

4th time lucky?

So we may have finally bought something. It's not a house, but a townhouse. We were originally staying away from townhouses, because you don't get any land, and there's not as much capital growth. But it's a really good townhouse, and rather than sell it in 2 years, we'll keep it as rental income. It's currently getting $460 a week, so we think by the time we move out, we could probably charge around the $500s, which will mean it basically pays for itself (depending on how much we pay off the loan).

We decided to buy it because a) we're sick of looking, and b) it has everything we would want in a townhouse. We had previously said if we got to April and hadn't found a house, we would start looking at townhouses. So we're a bit early. But it is a very good townhouse. It has:

-4 bedrooms (yay! an entire room for my clothes!);
-double lock up garage;
-tri-level (master bedroom way apart from everything else);
-small courtyard (with space for a herb/vegetable patch);
-air conditioning on all levels;
-ensuite to master;
-security system; and
-gas kitchen.

And it's in a very quiet area. We were sitting at the dining table signing the documents, with all of the doors open, and we couldn't hear a thing. Such a difference from our current place (we're on a main road). It's also a pet-friendly complex, so no more hiding the kittens.

My only caveat on buying it was that I have to be allowed to redo the kitchen within the first 6 months. It's only a relatively new place (2 years old), but the kitchen is ridiculously small. There are only 9 cupboards in it (I have 16 in my current townhouse, and even that's not enough), and the oven is so tiny I doubt you could fit a tray of biscuits in it. So yeah. I told William I would agree to buy it if we could redo the kitchen very quickly. There is no way I could function with that kitchen. It's ridiculous.

But anyway. We've got 14 days before it's unconditional, so we're not in the clear yet. I just hope this one doesn't fall through like all of the others.

Stupid investors!

If you think I've been whinging about investors paying too much for property because I am too cheap to pay market price, here's a prime example for you.

About a month ago, a house went on the market we were very interested in. Decent sized block, good sized house (although the bedrooms seemed quite small, for some reason - maybe an illusion). It wasn't perfect (no room for a walk in robe), and it needed a lot of updating. The owners hadn't done anything to the place since it was built in the late 70s. For instance, there was a bar area off the kitchen which had walls completely covered in cork tiles! Anyway, we thought it had potential. The real estate was looking for offers around the high 4s/low 5s.

We went to view the property and were going to put in an offer, but then the agent told us the owners wanted it to go to auction. It was a deceased estate, and I guess they wanted to see exactly how much they could get for it. The agent organised a building & pest, which showed some termite and borer damage (so again, definitely not a perfect property).

The auction was on Saturday. The agent had still been predicting high 4s/low 5s. Some moron ended up paying $700,000 for it. The funniest thing about that is, he obviously hasn't done his homework. He is apparently a builder and was looking at subdividing the block and building another house on it. I checked with the Council when we were first looking at, and found out it was in Res A zoning, and they wouldn't allow any new structures to be built on the land (well, unless the house was subject to some kind of catastrophe and it was a necessity - fire, etc). So he's just paid $200,000 too much for a piece of land he can't do anything with. Well, not until they change the zoning, anyway. The land itself was valued in the high 3s. So he's just paid more than $300k for a house that wouldn't cost more than $200k to build brand new. The house as it was was definitely not worth more than about $100k.

Still, that just shows you what's going on. Houses are listed for high 4s/low 5s, and so we go to look at them. We put in very reasonable offers (usually at the list price - we're not the sort to play the game where you offer $50,000 less than they're asking), and we still get outbid. There are moronic investors out there who don't really care what they pay for the property. If it's listed at $500,000, they'll put in $550,000 just to make sure they get it. This is infuriating, not only because we're getting outbid every time, but also because it artificially inflates the prices of all the houses for sale. An agent who lists a 3 bedroom in Wavell Heights for $525k, and gets an offer of $575k for it automatically goes back to their other listings for similar houses in the same area and raises the prices of them, knowing they'll get offers at the higher level.

It's outrageous. It makes me so angry. I just wish those selfish investors would stop paying more for properties than they're worth! I know we'll end up buying something eventually, but I really hope the arse falls out of the market and all those greedy bastards are left with multiple properties they paid too much for and they all make losses.

Rude!

Some people are so rude. Two recent examples:

We were invited to an engagement party of one of William's friends. When we got there, I placed my handbag and coat on a chair in order to reserve it for later (when I was sick of standing up). At such time, I walked back into the other room, only to discover a very large lady has stolen my seat. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was she had put my $700 handbag on the wet, dirty floor!! And she was literally sitting on my equally expensive jacket and crushing it!! I was so angry, and it took all my effort not to completely blow up at her. Instead, I just shot her daggers. I mean, even if it had been a $5 handbag and jacket, that sort of thing is still not acceptable. You don't put someone else's bag on a dirty, wet floor, and sit on/crush their clothes!

The other example was last night. We were supposed to be going out to dinner with William's friends from Melbourne. I have never met them before, because every other time they've been up, I've had an exam or assignment due the next day and have to bail. So anyway. It was supposed to be the four of us going out to dinner. William had picked the Normanby, which I wasn't too happy about, but I did know they had recently put in a newer restaurant which served more than just steak and chips, so I agreed. As a side note, William and I are on a strict eating plan which involves no carbs after 3pm. We are allowed to not follow the plan for one day every few weeks, and I was looking forward to eating some mashed potato.

Anyway, half an hour before we left our house, William's friend called him and said the people who had picked him up from the airport had invited themselves to dinner. Neither William or I know these people. Further, William's friend then decided to invite another of his friends (and his fiance) along, since it was turning into a large group. Brilliant, I thought. Those who know me in real life probably don't realise how shy I am. Sure, I'm outspoken once you get to know me, but if I don't know you, I generally won't say anything to you until I do. This situation is compounded when I'm faced with a large group of people I don't know. If it had just been the 4 of us as originally intended, I could have dealt with that. But facing 6 people I didn't know was extremely daunting, and I just knew I was going to sit there in silence all night.

I assumed William had made reservations for us at this place, and I asked him if we were sitting inside (I hate sitting outside, it's always cold, and at the moment it's raining). He said yes. I bought a jacket just in case, but I also wore a knee length dress (I would have chosen something warmer for eating outside).

So we get to the "restaurant." It turns out William hasn't made a reservation at all. And now that we are suddenly a table of 8, there is no space inside the new restaurant. There is only a table for 6 available. We are forced to sit outside in the pub food area. I am not happy. We manage to get a table for 8 as close as possible to the restaurant, in case of rain. There is a horribly loud entertainer not too far away playing the piano and singing slightly off key to horrible pop/rock songs of the 90s.

I look at the menu and am getting more irritated by the moment. There are burgers, pizzas, steak and chips, and that's it. I can't believe I am wasting one of my night's off for this crap. If I'm going to deviate from my eating plan, I would at least like to eat something decent. Not to mention I need to be studying, and I am annoyed that I could be home studying and eating something better instead of sitting here in the cold, facing a night of sitting shyly in silence, with horribly loud music assaulting my eardrums, and eating crappy food.

The other people show up. And someone else (a friend of the couple who picked up the friends from the airport) has now invited themselves along too. So now we have to move from our 8 table out to a shitty bar table with high stools (which had no backs - I hate chairs without backs!), right in front of the crappy singer, and right at the edge of the undercover section, so that if it started raining again, we were sure to get wet. Fantastic.

I asked William to order me a steak, and ask for mashed potato and vegetables instead of chips and salad. He comes back and tells me they won't do it. They apparently tell him they don't do mashed potato. What sort of restaurant doesn't do mashed potato?! He asks them whether they have any mashed potato over at the other restaurant, and they say no. As if. I go and investigate the menu, and there is indeed mashed potato on it. Fucking liars. How fucking hard is it to put a little bit of mashed potato on a plate? Charge me extra for it, I don't care! But seriously? Denying a customer a small change because you just simply don't want to do it? That's ridiculous.

And now for the extremely obnoxious part. Three of the ringers (the couple who picked up the friends from the airport, and their friend) don't even order food. They don't even sit with us. They take themselves and their drinks off to the smoking area, and don't come back for the rest of the night. I am livid! If they weren't coming to eat, then why are they here?! Why didn't they tell us they didn't want to eat?! We could have had the 6 top in the new restaurant, away from the horribly loud singer, and out of the cold and possible rain, and I could have been eating mashed potato! Who crashes someone else's dinner, and then just ruins it for everyone else by demanding a table large enough that they're not even going to sit at? Seriously?

I was so angry. I wanted to punch them in their stupid faces. I can't believe I wasted a night off on that crap. I told William he owes me a sandcrab lasagne from Il Centro.

Selling things on Ebay is torture

This is an actual exchange between myself and some moron from the States. As background, the listing is for a pair of shoes, and is quite comprehensive. It states regular shipping is free to the whole world, but express is extra, and insurance is extra (and optional).

hi,how much is the price buy it now in usa money? how much is
the shipping to usa?thanks

The buy it now price should come up automatically for your country. It's $55 Australian, so it should be about $50 USD. Regular shipping is free, but if you want expedited shipping, or insurance, that will be extra.

hi,how much is the shipping n insurance ? how long it take to get
to usa.thanks

Everything you have asked is mentioned within the listing. If you go to the listing, and click on the tab labelled Postage and Delivery next to the one labelled Description, you can change the country there to say United States of America. It will then tell you standard shipping is free (and will take up to 5 business days to reach you), and expedited shipping is $25 AUD (and will take less than 5 business days to reach you - probably about 3 days). It also says insurance is an additional $5 AUD.

hi,so the shipping is free to usa its take 5 days and $5 for the
insurance right,if this right i ll but them.SORRY for all the
question.thanks

Argh! I just wanted to yell at her, "can you freaking read?!" Although judging by her awful grammar, the answer to that question would be no.

She did end up buying the shoes, though. And that's the only thing I hate about Ebay. You have to be polite to these idiots because they are potentially ridding you of your unwanted crap. The amount of times I have wanted to go postal on some moron for asking stupid questions... I sometimes wonder why I bother writing detailed descriptions at all, since clearly nobody ever reads them. Next time, I think I'll just put up a photo and that's it.