I am so anxious about this trip that I'm starting to think I should just cancel it all and stay home. 8 months off work and uni would be nice no matter where I was.

*sigh*

How about you actually read what I wrote??

Oh for fuck's sake! Did all of you skip over the part where I said, "I agree that sometimes fat people are subjected to some fairly nasty comments, which I don't think is right, but I do think the greater public has an interest in how fat the nation gets."?????

Read what I wrote and stop getting your knickers in a twist! I also didn't say I thought size 16, 18 or 20 was morbidly obese! I merely said that was fat, and it is. It's not morbidly obese, but it is fat, and you can't deny that. I don't care if a size 16 is the average size for a woman in this country - it's still fat. It's certainly not thin!! Someone who is a size 16 would have at least 35% or more body fat, and the "healthy" percentage is around 25% (or 10% for elite athletes).

Let me make this clear - I DO NOT CONDONE PEOPLE MAKING NASTY COMMENTS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE. I don't agree with it. I think it's unnecessary, and should not be tolerated. I do, however, think that if you are that fat that some fucktard has made a comment about you (or numerous people as in the case of the woman whose letter I posted), that perhaps instead of just merely complaining about it in some letter-to-the-editor, you should have a look at yourself, because you'd have to be pretty bloody unhealthy for someone to do that. People don't do that for just normal "overweight" sizes.

In the same way as someone who pierces and tattoos their body beyond what society classes as "normal", someone who is morbidly obese should be emotionally prepared for people to look at them and possibly make comments. I'M NOT SAYING THAT IS RIGHT, merely that it happens. It happens because being morbidly obese is not "normal", and some fucktards in society think it's their right to speak out about what they think isn't "normal."

My only point in the previous post was if you're that unhappy about being that fat, then you should do something about it, instead of just whinging that people are picking on you. That is all.

I AM NOT CONDONING FUCKTARDS MAKING NASTY COMMENTS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE!!!!!

Bah!

All I can say in answer to this is: so lose some fucking weight then, and you won't get ridiculed!

Being fat is not the same as being gay, or African-American, or Asian, or albino, or whatever. People born with those qualities don't get to make a decision about them. They're just born like that - hence why it's unfair to pick on them for it. In most instances, being fat is a lifestyle choice. You want to eat fatty foods? You don't want to exercise? Fine. But don't expect to stay slim. And if you do get fat, but don't want to make new lifestyle choices which might help you become more healthy, then don't fucking complain about it.

I agree that sometimes fat people are subjected to some fairly nasty comments, which I don't think is right, but I do think the greater public has an interest in how fat the nation gets. After all, obese people do put a lot of strain on the health system, which is largely funded by taxpayers. But not just that - do we really want to be a nation of obese people, having to resize our airplane seats, cinema seats, plates and glasses, reinforce surfaces for fatter people to walk over, etc etc? I think it would be a sad day if engineering marvels and great inventions revolved around how to best take care of hugely obese people. I don't want Australia to end up like the ship on Wall-E.

I do realise there are some people out there who aren't fat by lifestyle choice, but by medical conditions, but those people usually aren't obese. They're just a little bit larger than they should be (unless they're also not eating or dieting correctly). And just to make it clear, I think "fat" is a size 16 up. But that also depends on height. I would be obese if I was a size 16, but someone who was tall might be able to pull it off a little better. Still, I think a size 16 for anyone would be edging on the "I think I need to get to the gym" stage. Also, those who have realised they might need to lose a little weight and are doing something about it are not subjects of my wrath. Hehe. I'm currently a size 10 (so about 10kgs overweight for what I should be - I am very short), and have started going to a weight management clinic to try to lose it. I am having all sorts of difficulties because my body doesn't react to diets and exercise the way most people's do. I don't have anything wrong with my thyroid, but there is something medical preventing me from losing this weight. So I do know how hard it can be. It's not that I'm unsympathetic. But let's face it, you'd have to be pretty fucking fat to have people stopping on the street to make fun of you. People don't do that to size 12s or 14s, or even 16s or 18s. Those sorts of comments are usually reserved for the very obese.

So yeah. I can't really tolerate this "woe is me! I'm so fat and people pick on me" bullshit. The answer is simple. Lose some weight. It's something you have control over, unlike the colour of your skin, or your sexual orientation, or the country you were born in. Take some personal responsibility for yourself and stop the whinging.

Very strange feelings

Anyone who knows me can tell you I am not an emotional person. On the outside. I don't cry in front of people, and I'm not really one to show my affection either. The only thing I ever really do show anyone is annoyance or anger, and even then I try to keep it in check. I was brought up with very old-fashioned beliefs, in that you shouldn't show emotions, because people can use them against you. I have therefore perfected a poker face, and no one ever really knows what I'm thinking. Once I trust someone, however, I can start to relax a little. But I really have to concentrate with those people to show emotions in conversations. I think I get a little bit over animated in conversations with them, because I'm trying so hard to be the opposite of what I normally am. I have to force myself to look surprised or shocked and exclaim, "No way!" when a friend tells me something that's happened to them, or to act really happy if something good happens. It's just not in my nature. That's also why I'm absolutely terrible at web cams, because I just sit there with a non-readable face while I'm typing - no smiles, no laughs, no eyebrow movements, nothing. I used to dread guys asking to chat via webcam in my internet dating days, because I knew they'd just think I was boring.

Anyway. There is a point to this. I leave Australia in 21 days. And all of sudden I have a wealth of emotions roaming around in me that are begging to be let out. I was crying in the car this morning on my way to work, just thinking of how much I was going to miss William. I do not do things like that usually. I had to practically force myself to cry at my nana's funeral recently, so for me to just spontaneously burst into tears is just weird. I am not one of those emotional crying girls that guys speak about all the time.

All morning, I have been feeling particularly sad. I think the new girl at work (who, incidentally, is so bloody slow a turtle trying to out-slow a snail would be faster) thinks I'm shitty at her, because I'm barely speaking. I just keep thinking about what a great big thing I am doing, packing up and leaving everyone I know for 6 months (then William comes to see me). I'm not really very close to anyone in my life (except William), so I didn't think it would be such a big deal for me. I think I might have been wrong.

I think I'm going to be a complete mess at the airport when I leave. And now my mother has told me she wants to come to see me off, even though my flight is at 5am. I know it sounds awful, but I don't think I want her and my father there. It will be my last chance to see William for six months, and I sort of just wanted to spend it with him. I can't say anything though, because I think it would hurt her feelings. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with her seeing me so emotional though. I would be embarrassed enough that William was witnessing it, let alone mum and dad. So yeah. Dilemma. I think I'll try to get them to just come for dinner the night before or something.

I don't think this post had a point. I'm just feeling very weird about everything right now.

But on the plus side, I finished a degree on Wednesday, so yay me. I'll be going to my graduation ceremony when I get back, which should be fun.

How internal documents can get you into trouble with external suppliers

My boss and the founder of a very large accounting firm went to school together. My boss often sends files up to this accounting firm when our clients need calculations/advice of an accounting nature. In return, he sends work our way.

My boss also has his personal tax done by this accounting firm, obviously. However, the principal doesn't do it. He has one of his directors do it. We call him Fat Eddie because he is ginormous. He seems to expand more every year. He would seriously need at least 3 seats on an airplane. There is no way in hell he'd ever fit into one, or even two. He is positively massive.

Anyway, Fat Eddie is rather lazy. He seems to think because my boss and his boss are friends, that we are on mates' rates or something, and therefore are not as important as his other clients. Not true. We pay in excess of $10,000 a year for our accounting (it's very complicated for a small business).

When I started here 5 years, my predecessor told me Fat Eddie was lazy, and would never get the documents in on time to the ATO, and we would have to constantly chase him up to even get started on the documents. In my time here, I have also found that to be the case. It is like pulling teeth to get him to do anything on time. We have gotten him into trouble with his boss on numerous occasions, which probably doesn't help us, I suppose.

Anyway, I have now done up a manual for my job which outlines the tax duties and what has to be sent to the accountant, when. In it, I said, "Eddie rarely gets things in on time, so make sure you chase him up."

This is an internal document. There is only one printed copy, and it's beside my desk. I haven't emailed it even to my boss, let alone outside sources. Besides which, it's absolutely huge and would well exceed the limits of most mailbox quotas.

Somehow, Fat Eddie got a copy of one page of the manual. The exact page which says he rarely gets things in on time. He has sent me a rather pointed email asking me to update that section to say if things are sent to him on time, he will have them done on time. And updated the time to send him the information to 5 months before the tax is due!! Well, of course I would expect him to have it in on time if he's giving himself 5 months to do it! But that's not the point.

The point is, how on earth did he get a copy of that page? I really do not understand how it's even possible.

My boss and I are laughing about it, however, because it could have been a lot worse. It could have said something like, "[Boss] calls him Fat Eddie, and notes he continues to expand each year. He is very lazy, and we have never gotten the tax done on time. To make sure he does his job (for which he seems rather incompetent), continue to chase him up after you've sent the file to make sure he actually starts it, so we have a chance of getting it in on time."

So at least there's an upside!

Our damage control was to write back and say, "Thanks Eddie. That extract is a remnant of [previous employee's] notes. We have updated accordingly." And then kept the document exactly the same. Hehehe.

Being productive

After finishing the last two assignments for one of my degrees (ever! yay!), I decided I would use this weekend to do a lot of things around the house that have been neglected the last couple of weeks, before starting to study for exams as of today. So, on Saturday I:

-cleaned the entire house, including the rooms that sometimes just seem to store junk
-washed the cat (he wasn't very happy about it)
-went to the gym
-did 3 weeks worth of washing (lucky I have a lot of clothes!)
-cleaned the fish tank
-went to see Burn After Reading (I didn't think it was as funny as the rest of the cinema did. Perhaps because I really can't stand Francis McDormand)
-went to Wagamama for dinner (mmm, vegetable ramen!)
-went to Freestyle for dessert (no, Miss Giggles, I still don't understand why everyone loves it)

And on Sunday I:

-watched last week's episode of Desperate Housewives (that show is going downhill fast)
-had William whipper snip the grass (we don't have much of it, so a mower would be pointless)
-went to Bunnings to get replacement herbs for some of mine that had died (and stood in line for 30 minutes to pay, and yelled at a guy who tried to cut in front of me)
-pulled up the herbs that were still alive, dug up the garden bed, put in some organic soil and mulch, dug that in, then replanted the herbs, as well as the new seedlings I bought. Then erected a small fence around the garden to stop the bunnies or whatever it is that are eating my plants
-went grocery shopping
-cleaned out the fridge
-made apple crumble, cauliflower soup and colcannon soup to use up some things in the fridge that were close to being thrown out
-cleaned out the pantry
-washed all 5 episodes of Great British Menu from this week
-made William some chicken noodle soup for dinner, because he wasn't feeling too well
-watched the two finale episodes of Project Runway (season 5).

And after all that, I had done so much work that my right hand and arm have swelled to another half their size, because my tenosynovitis has flared up. My hand and arm are aching and I'm finding it very difficult to do anything. Fun fun. But at least I got everything done! Now I can concentrate on studying for my exams. And after that, I will be able to finalise the details of my trip. I am so stressed about it!

Last group assignment ever!

Well, I'm down to my last group assignment, hopefully forever. One of my other degrees only has exams, and the other is external, so no group assignments there.

This one has probably been the best in my 8 years of uni, but still not perfect. One of the group members left the subject halfway through the semester, then another one moved to New Zealand. We had 12 weeks to work on the assignment, but I was the only one who'd done any work until week 8, when I sent a rather strongly worded email to everyone to get off their arses and do some work. Particularly as my part relied upon someone else's part, and then the third member's relied on mine. And I am the editor of the whole thing, so I need time at the end to put everything together and make sure it all works, and the spelling and grammar is correct.

It's due this Friday night, but until the most recent Friday night, I still didn't have all the details of what I was supposed to be writing about. Thankfully, the lecture ended early and I was able to speak to the other group member about it. So I began writing some of it on Saturday, but William and I had gold class tickets for Body of Lies (pretty good), and then Miss Giggles' birthday party to attend. I am now thankful I don't go out more - clubs are so loud! I felt really old, not being able to handle the volume!. I wanted to stay longer for her, but the noise was too much for me, and I had to finish two assignments the next day (the group one and another essay). Also, I had made a gigantic arse of myself earlier in the evening, and I suspect she was somewhat disappointed in her gift (although I had spoken to another friend of hers about it before I got it, and she had said it was a great idea, so I don't know). Anyway. I left at 10.30.

Apparently there was some big car race on yesterday, so William went to his parents' place to watch it with his dad. Which worked out great for me. I read through 20+ journal articles and wrote over 5500 words for the group assignment, before realising my two parts were only supposed to be 800. How many tables do you think is excessive in an assignment? I managed to cram most of my information across 12 tables, which left 800 words to link them together. Hehehe.

The most annoying thing, though, was that even though the other group members had not told me what I was supposed to be writing about until Friday night at 8pm, I was still expected to have my bit completed by Sunday night, so the other group member could do her bit (and have an entire week, mind you). I was on the group discussion board the whole day, posting bits of my assignment, asking questions, making comments on things, expecting the other group members to come on and contribute. I figured since at least one of my group members wanted my information for her part, she would at least be monitoring the site to see when I posted it.

Apparently not. I just think that's rude. They tell me I have to get everything done by Sunday, and then they don't even come on to the discussion board to contribute while I'm busting my arse, writing a very detailed and indepth report. Grr.

Anyway, at least most of my bit is out of the way. I just have to justify a few more bits of my reasoning, and I'm done. Except for the editing. I just hope they don't screw up my document too much. I've seen the way they format things, and I am afraid!

UPDATE: Ok, so apparently I was supposed to detail how I made an arse of myself. First off, I will preface this with the statement that only I probably thought I was a gigantic arse, and the other people involved have probably forgotten about it already.

So. If you read Miss Giggles' blog, you will know she gives everyone nicknames (as most of us do). When we speak in real life, she will often still call people by these nicknames, because otherwise I have no idea who she's talking about. Also, I am crap with names and faces, largely because I never actually look at anyone. People introduce me to other people, I say hello, etc, and then I promptly forget about them, as I naturally assume I will never have anything to do with them again, and thus they are not worth my brain space. So when I do end up meeting these people again at other functions, I have no recollection of them, and Miss Giggles will have to say something like, "this is suchandsuch, the one with the dog at my party last year" and I will say, "Ohhhh!" because now I know vaguely who they are, but still wouldn't have picked them out of a lineup if my life depended on it.

Anyway, there is one particular guy she has been sort of seeing. Go and read the blog post titled Epic Fail. It is ridiculous. I thought I'd had some bad dates, but that is just the worst ever! I'm fairly sure Miss Giggles has told me EF's real name before, but as I am want to do, I have never remembered it. To me, he will always be Epic Fail of the Worst Date Ever (tm). So, we're at the club. Some dude sits down next to Miss Giggles. I assume it is a friend of hers. She says, "Ange, meet Suchandsuch. Suchandsuch, this is Ange." He acts like he knows who I am, and maybe he does. Perhaps Miss Giggles has told him about me. But I naturally assume that he is one of her friends that I have met before and just paid no attention to. So I say, "Which one is Suchandsuch?" and wait for her to say, "Oh, he was the one who took home all your sausages last year" or something. But no. She immediately gives me this look like I have just said the stupidest thing on earth. And then he gives me this look as if I should know who he is, and then gives Miss Giggles a look as if she should have told me about him. And then I realise I have completely embarrassed her. So I decide to make it worse by saying, "But you have nicknames for everyone!" And as soon as I say that, I realise how stupid I am, and it dawns on me he might be Epic Fail. As if she's going to be able to say that out loud in front of him! And as if he's not going to quiz her later on what his nickname is! Idiot. I could not believe how stupid I was.

So yes, that is how I made a gigantic arse of myself, by completely embarrassing her in front of her "male acquaintance" whose name I should have known. Sorry Miss Giggles!

Happy Birthday to Miss Giggles!!!

I like it when things are going well

Last week turned out to be a fairly good one. I ended up hiring the younger, slightly less trained one with the better attitude. I figured she'd be more grateful for the job and would be more willing to learn what I wanted to teach her, rather than thinking she knows the best way and not listening, as I suspected the other one would. And yes, Perseus, she was the good looking one, so it worked out for the best! Haha!

I also came up with a fantastic business idea that I will be working on while I'm overseas, and hopefully implement when I come back. So far, everyone I've mentioned it to has thought it was a good idea (as long as I can achieve some key objectives), so that's good. I just have to do up a business plan and outlay all my estimations and see how I go. I'm pretty excited about it!

I also think I may have found William's present. You know, the big one that I have been working on for over a year that I suspected his mother had told him about? Well, I'm not so sure she did now, because he hasn't mentioned anything for a while, so it might have just been coincidence. If she did tell him, he's obviously decided she was making it up or something because the present wasn't forthcoming straight away (the last one I sourced fell through at the end). So yeah. It's our anniversary in a few weeks, so it would be fantastic if I really can get the latest one I've found. I've already gotten him something else in case it falls through as well.

Uni is over in about 3 weeks' time, which is also great. I haven't really enjoyed this degree, and I can't say I've actually learnt anything. And I don't want a career out of it. It's a backup degree for one of the other ones I'm doing (as is the third degree, but I actually enjoy that one as well). So yeah. It will be a relief to get it over and done with.

All in all, things are going well. However, I do have a tonne of work to get through, and also a lot of arrangements to finalise for my trip, which I am completely stressed out about to the point where I'm having nightmares about it. Hopefully it all goes smoothly in the end!

Probably not the best time to be indecisive

I made it 26 years without a filling. Sadly, my record has now been killed on a technicality.

I somehow managed to chip a piece out of the middle of one of my molars, so today I was at the dentist getting it filled. So although it's actually a chip-repair, it's technically a filling, so now I can't say I don't and have never had one anymore. *cries* Now I know why people hate dentists. Fillings aren't fun, what with the injecting, and the drilling, and the cold air making my teeth sensitive, and the what not. Not to mention the fact the left side of my face is still numb 3 hours on.

I have almost picked a replacement. They've both done their testing, and I'm just waiting on a report. I am leaning more towards one than the other, however. The one I'm leaning towards is really interested in this area of the industry, and seems very keen to get the job. She also seems very willing to learn and has appeared to be ready to listen to what I say. The other one, while still very good, had poor references when it came to her attitude, seems very set in her ways, isn't interested in this area of the industry (but is still studying for the industry in general, as is the first girl), and doesn't really seem to want to listen to what I'm saying - she's more interested in making excuses for herself, which irritates me. Still, I think perhaps she might do a more thorough job, so I'm torn. Do I give it to the girl who really, really wants it, but may need a little but more training? Or do I give it to the girl who would probably be able to step right in, but is devoid of personality and has something of an attitude problem?

Decisions, decisions.

Sydney sucks. And so do babies.

I've only been to Sydney three times before the weekend, and I don't think I had any complaints about it. Now I do.

What the hell is wrong with Sydney on a weekend? Nothing was open! We tried walking around on Saturday to maybe do a bit of shopping, but most of the stores were closed (we were down near the opera house end). The only good thing about the day was that it was hot. Although I was still wearing a jacket. I don't think people realise just how hot it has to be before I think it's hot. It was apparently 33 degrees and I was still wearing jeans and a jumper. William thought I was mad.

That night, we tried to find somewhere to eat dinner. William was supposed to have booked us in to Aria, but being male had completely neglected to make reservations anywhere. I suggested we just find a nice, small restaurant to eat at. Like Italian or something. We checked on the internet at all of the places within a few blocks of the hotel, but most of them said they didn't open on Saturday nights (huh?) or didn't answer their phones when we called to see if they were open! We ended up having to eat in the hotel, and they charged us over $70 for a club sandwich, sweet potato soup, and two drinks. Ridiculous.

We then went to Cirque du Soleil. We got a cab, but it appears whoever organised for the show to be on that night had not informed whoever they were supposed to inform, because the police had blocked off all of the streets leading into the area where the Grand Chapiteau was, because of some stupid football game. The taxi driver didn't really know where he was going either. We ended up getting out of the cab and having to walk for nearly a kilometre to get to the show. Of course, I had gotten dressed and chosen shoes on the basis that I would be seated for most of the night, so I was practically crippled by the time we got there.

The show was good, but the crowd was shit. Now I understand why all bands that play in Brisbane comment on what a lively and enthusiastic crowd we are. The performers in the show were doing some very amazing things, and every time I've seen Cirque in Brisbane, the crowd claps after each amazing stunt and really gets into it. Not the Sydney crowd. They just sat there like stunned mullets, as if what the performers were doing wasn't completely fantastic and beyond the realms of what most normal people could do. They only clapped when the performers on stage really prompted them to. I thought it was exceptionally rude, and I felt really sorry for the performers. I was trying to clap where I thought it was appropriate, but when you're the only one showing any interest, and no one around you is joining in, you sort of have to stop before you look like an idiot. The lack of crowd enthusiasm really annoyed me, and the whole show seemed to suffer for it. I came away thinking the show hadn't been that good, and then I realised it was only because the crowd hadn't been clapping and really getting into it that I thought that, and the show had actually been fantastic and the stunts amazing. I think I'll stick to seeing Cirque in Brisbane from now on.

The next awful thing was that we exited the show, expecting to see a line up of cabs at the ready, as there would be in Brisbane. Nothing. We joined the line for cabs with about 80 people in front of us. It was at least 20 minutes before the first cab arrived, by which stage about 20 people had left, annoyed with the wait. The cabs were arriving very sporadically, however, so I tried to call the limo company we have an account with and book a sedan to take us back to the hotel instead. I was told there were only 3 cars out, as everyone else had gone home, and none of those cars wanted my job. They were all on other jobs and wanted to go home after that. What the fuck?! It's Saturday night! It was only 10.40pm! Why the fuck were there only 3 cars left out, and why the fuck were they refusing jobs?! Ridiculous! It was about 11.20 by the time we got a cab, and then we hit traffic! On a Saturday night at 11.20!! Traffic jams! What the fuck?! It took us a ridiculous amount of time to get back to the hotel.

Sunday morning we decided to go for another walk before we had to head back to Brisbane. We walked into the shopping area to again discover half the shops closed. What the hell is wrong with this town?? It was after 10. I know Brisbane might seem backwards to people from Melbourne and Sydney, but at least 80% of our shops aren't closed on the weekend! And at least our restaurants are open on Saturday nights, we have cabs waiting at the end of major events, and don't have traffic jams in the middle of the night.

We ended up going to the Apple store so William could get some accessories. For the record, I despise Iphones and Ipods, so I was not very excited by the place. To make it worse, they started playing Bob Dylan. I had to get out of there and go half a block up to get away from his awful voice. I cannot stand that man. I don't care if people think he's a genius. His voice makes me stabby. I swear if I was a spy, and had been caught by enemy forces, the only thing that would make me talk would be if they started playing Bob Dylan. I'd tell them everything within 2.5 seconds just to get them to turn off that awful noise. It sounds like someone standing on cats' tails. Waaah waaaah waaaahh!

I also wish they would ban children under 2 from travelling on planes. I think once you're 2, you're able to understand the command "shut up." Before that, probably not so much. At the very least, don't take your fucking newborn on a plane with you. We were stuck with two screaming babies on the flight to Sydney, and neither of their mothers appeared to be doing anything about it. The noise obviously doesn't bother them as much. But after an hour in an enclosed space with two screaming babies, I was ready to murder someone. I swear if I had been on that plane myself, I would have turned around and yelled at them to shut the fucking things up. But since I was with William, and he looked very anxious that I was about to do exactly that, which would have embarrassed him no end, I didn't. Surely babies can't cry non-stop for more than an hour normally? Surely they could stick a dummy or something in its mouth? Or rock it to sleep or something? They were both just sitting there with their children screaming in their laps, reading magazines! Argh!

Anyway. Going to see the travel agent tomorrow, where I will kick some butt. How hard is it to look through an itinerary and see if the train travel is compatible with a Eurail pass? I've already done all the work! Surely it's not that hard? Grr.

If you can't guess, I'm tired and cranky today.

Well, I'm down to two candidates. And I was right about the girl whose Facebook profile concerned me. She came in, acting all superior and looking down her nose at me, didn't seem interested in the position at all, didn't want to ask any questions, gave one word or one sentence answers and never elaborated on anything (except about a Contiki tour of Europe she did which she spent most of drinking). The interview was dead in half an hour. In contrast, the two I have to choose between were very interested in the position, willing to learn the new things they would have to do, asked a lot of questions and elaborated on every question. Their interviews were 2 hours long (I tried to wrap them up after an hour, but they both kept talking!).

I can't really decide between them (I'm leaning towards one at the moment, though), so I have sent them for testing. Hopefully once I get the results back, I will have a clear front runner.

I'll be heading to Sydney this weekend to see Cirque du Soleil. Very exciting! I would have waited until it came to Brisbane, but I think the first show is on the night before I leave, which is probably not the best time to go to a circus! I just hope it's not too cold in Sydney!!

Interviews

I am somewhat stressed right now. Out of the 36 people that applied for the job, I was able to find 5 that I wanted to interview. One of them has already gotten a new job, so that left 4. And now I have to interview them. Which is what I am stressed about. I have one tomorrow, two on Thursday and one on Friday. I have only been to 4 interviews myself, and gotten every job I ever applied for, so I haven't really been through that many to know what to do. I've never interviewed anyone before, and I tend to get "stage fright" in front of people I don't know, and become a babbling mess. It's somewhat embarrassing. Particularly if you're trying to display an air of professionalism and competence.

I've written out a set of questions to ask, but I don't really know how to handle it. I also apparently come off as cold and aloof to most people, which I think might put people off actually wanting the job (even though they won't be working with me). Selling this job is also going to be difficult, because the hours are crap, and so are the leave entitlements. I was up front about that in the ad, however, so at least these applicants sort of know what they've applied for. I didn't when I was interviewed for this job. I was only told at the interview stage about the hours and other requirements, and then I felt trapped - like I had to accept it or I wouldn't get the job. But anyway.

I've also done a Facebook/MySpace/Google search on the candidates, and I will just say that if you're job hunting, you should probably turn your profile to private. I am somewhat hesitant with two of the candidates now, given what I read on their profiles. So we shall see if they impress me tomorrow or not.

So, any tips on interviewing people? I just don't want to come across like a bumbling idiot.

A friend in need... is frankly just annoying some times!

Travel plans are coming along. If the lazy travel agent would return my calls, I might be able to finalise most of it. I think all travel agents are just pissed because their jobs are becoming obsolete now that people can book everything over the internet. But you'd think that would make them want to try harder to keep the clients they do have. Apparently not.

And now for a rant. And it's about someone who reads this blog, but I have to get it off my chest, so I'm going to post it, with the hopes that they know once I do, I will be over it and never have to discuss it again. Which is probably the best choice of action.

I don't mind helping out friends and doing favours for them. I like to think the more I do, the more they would be willing to help me should I ever need it. I do, however, get annoyed when people misrepresent the favour they're asking you to do, even if it is innocently done.

A friend emailed me and asked if I would help with a small sewing task. A simple zig-zag stitch, so they said. I am pretty busy with uni, work and organising my trip, so it took some time to find a suitable night. I emailed that I would be home from work on Thursday night at 5.30pm, with the assumption this person would be over as soon as they finished work, which would have been before 6.00pm.

I usually eat dinner at 6.00pm. I know that sounds early, but I start work at 6.30am, which means I have lunch at 11am, which means that dinner after 6.00pm is practically unthinkable for me. I'd eat at 5.00pm if I could, but I'm only just finished at the gym then, and William doesn't get home until just before 6.00pm anyway. So I have to wait. And I'm generally starving by 6.00pm.

However, it was only a simple zig zag stitch, I thought, so my friend would be over by 6 at the latest, I'd run it through my machine, and they'd be gone by 6.30 at the latest and then I could eat dinner (I didn't want to prepare it and start eating and have them show up in the middle of dinner, because I think that's rude). They hadn't arrived by 20 past, so I sent a message and got the reply that they were only just on their way. I thought maybe they'd been held up at work, so I let it go. I was slightly annoyed they hadn't let me know, because I could have eaten dinner at 6 as usual, and been finished by the time they arrived. My stomach was already growling at me.

They arrived some time after 6.30. And the reason they were late was not because of work. It was because they'd gone home to talk to a boy. A boy they probably shouldn't even be speaking to after his performance some months ago anyway, but that's neither here nor there. So they'd kept me waiting, without telling me, because they thought talking to this guy couldn't wait, but my dinner could - rude. Grr. And the job was not a simple zig zag stitch. It hadn't even been pinned together. I don't know if you know this, but pinning stretch fabric is not exactly an easy job. Primarily because the fabric stretches out once the person puts it on, so you can't just merrily pin away as you can on normal fabric, or the whole thing would be be too small once they put it on. You have to measure out the material stretched out, and then mark it, so that once it's sprung back, you can pin it in intervals. Basically, you have to pin each end, then put a pin in the middle, then keep halving the spaces with pins, making little bubbles of fabric which will stretch and even out once sewn. You have to make sure you keep it even, or it won't stretch out as it's supposed to, and will end up all wonky. I had assumed this person had it all pinned up, because they'd said all they needed was the stitching done. And then it turned out they didn't want it to be straight the whole way around, they wanted a dip in the middle, which was also not straight forward. And there were appliques to sew on the top (which, admittedly, I offered to do, because I had the thing there and might as well have done it while I was at it).

So anyway, after at least an hour of measuring and pinning, I only had one layer pinned up, I was starving, and I had no intention of finishing it that night. The next night I had uni until 9pm, so I wasn't going to do it then either. Which basically meant I had to work on it all day Saturday, because they wanted to pick it up Sunday morning in order to have enough time to sew sequins and beads on. Which I realised would be virtually impossible once the garment was off the mannequin, as the fabric would spring back. I suggested they come over and lightly glue the sequins in place first, while it was stretched out, so that once it was off, they just had to sew the sequins and beads on where they were.

It took me 4 hours on Saturday to finish it. Bear in mind I have two assignments I was planning on working on, plus finalisations of travel plans. Sewing stretch fabric all day was not in my initial plans. Sunday morning rolls around. I don't know what time they're coming over, but they've got work on at 1, and the gluing would take at least 2 hours (measuring and drawing out the pattern, then gluing hundreds of sequins on), so I thought they'd be there by 11.00 at the latest. I hadn't received word from them by 10, so William and I decided to go for a walk. A few seconds later I received a phone call, and they hadn't left their house yet, so I told them I'd be back from my walk at 11. I presumed by telling them this, that is when they would show up.

I then get a phone call at 11.30. They haven't even left their house yet. They're telling me they start work at 1 (I know) and they don't think they'll be able to do the sequins in time (they would have if they'd shown up at 11 as I mentioned). They wanted to know what I was doing on Monday night. I really started to get annoyed then. I have things to do. I have assignments to finish. I have travel plans to do. I don't simply sit around on my butt once I get home from work. I don't watch a lot of TV or read many books. I am in my study until at least 11pm most nights, if I don't have actual uni classes on. So I said I wasn't available. Which basically meant I was stuck with gluing the sequins on if I wanted to get rid of this thing, especially considering they needed it by Tuesday night. Obviously I could have just given it to them as it was and let them worry about how to do the sequins and beading, but I am just not that mean. Unfortunately.

They came over at 12. We drew the pattern on. I was still annoyed that I now had a day of gluing sequins ahead of me. Especially since I'd already declared the day a write off for assignments anyway and had planned to sew up dress to take travelling with me (because finding a dress in non-wrinkle material is impossible) - since I already had my sewing machine out, I thought I may as well use it. Obviously that wasn't going to happen that day now.

I started gluing at 12.30. I didn't finish until 2.30. And now the top of my thumb is numb from constantly squeezing the glue bottle for 2 hours. I kid you not. I still can't feel it 18 hours later. There's just a weird pins and needles feeling in it. I'm hoping the feeling returns in it soon, because it's very weird to type when you haven't got feeling in one of your fingers.

I honestly wouldn't have minded the whole thing if the person had just shown up on time, but it was the fact they were constantly late, and obviously assuming I had all the time in the world to spend on this thing, plus the fact it wasn't the simple sewing job I had agreed to do that annoyed me. And I didn't get to do any of my assignments, travel plans, or sew my own dress. The entire weekend was a waste for me. I mean, I quite like sewing and what not, so I would even agree to do it again if asked, but I just wish they'd outlined what the job really required before hand.

I know the person is extremely grateful for the work I've done, but I honestly just wish they would realise that other people have schedules too, and things they'd like to do with their time, and if you're going to be somewhere to do something, you should be there on time, or at least call and say you'll be late so I'm not left without my dinner and starving, when I could have eaten before you arrived, or so I'm not left gluing hundreds of sequins on (and a numb thumb) which you could have done before you started work if you'd arrived on time.

Rant over now. No discussions/apologies/whatever are necessary. Let's pretend this never happened.

But you'd better arrive on time tonight!! :Þ

Sarah Palin is evil incarnate

Reasons why I cannot understand why anyone could vote for this horrid woman:

- She is pro-life to the point where she does not support abortions for rape and incest victims.
- She is against contraception.
- Supports drilling in Alaska, and even supports opening the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve for drilling.
- She supports the death penalty.
- She hunts wild animals.
- She is a member of the NRA and is very pro-guns.
- She supports teaching creationism in science class at schools.
- She doesn't believe global warming is caused by humans.
- She opposes same-sex marriage and benefits for same sex couples that heterosexual couples have access to.
- She wants the decision in Roe v Wade overturned.
- She supports the war in Iraq.
- She has no idea about animal conservation, and supports a plan to kill wolves from the air in order for Moose populations to increase so that hunters can have more defenceless animals to shoot.
- There are rumours she tried to have her brother-in-law fired from his job while he was divorcing her sister, and then transferred the commissioner who refused to do it.
- There are rumours her youngest child is not hers, and she covered up its real parentage to protect her political career (after all, someone who preaches that only abstinance-only sex education be taught in schools would look somewhat hypocritical when their 16 year old daughter turned out to be pregnant).
- If the above rumour is true, her daughter got pregnant again right after the birth of the first child. She just can't keep her legs closed, can she? Obviously Palin was forced to come clean on this one, as it would look very odd if she suddenly announced she was pregnant again when her youngest is just 5 months old. Especially considering she didn't tell anyone about the last pregnancy until she was apparently 7 months pregnant, and not showing in the slightest. And then flew for 8 hours on a plane when she was supposedly going into labour to get back to Alaska from Texas, and then further drove to a secluded place to give birth away from prying eyes. It all seems very suspicious to me.

And probably the worst thing of all: she named her children Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. If that's not due cause for her timely end on this earth, I don't know what is.

Happy birthday to me!

Another year has come and gone, and I am now officially one year too old to take advantage of the Youth Saver passes for train travel in Europe! Haha. I should have gone last year!

I received quite a number of things I needed to take on my trip with me, which was great! I love practical presents! Haha! I got the backpack (although they gave it to my mother in the wrong colour, so I'll have to take it back), the laptop (little Asus eeepc), compression sacks, compass, pashmina, mini torch (so cute!), Swiss Army knife and some other little things. The only "big" things (ie, expensive) I have to get now are a sleeping bag and walking shoes. Although my family is going to have Christmas in November (I'll be in Lima at Christmas), so perhaps I shouldn't buy anything else until then, just in case.

My parents and William took me out to Kingsley's for lunch on Saturday. I actually like watching Deadliest Catch, and I was determined to have the Alaskan king crab legs. They were huge! And the crab was so sweet! Definitely the best crab I've ever eaten. The view was really nice too. We were watching all the boats come in for the Riverfire celebrations (grumble, grumble, stupid Riverfire always hijacking my birthday, grumble). William then made me a chocolate cake for my birthday (yay!) and I got to watch all of the episodes of Great British Menu I'd been recording throughout the week. Might sound boring to you, but it was the best day ever! Food Channel, crab legs, chocolate cake, practical presents - what more could a girl want?! Haha!

Yesterday afternoon we went to see In Bruges. I thought it was meant to be a comedy. It was a lot darker and had a lot more gore than I was expecting. It was mildly humourous in parts, but it was mostly the same running joke of "Bruges is shit." Still, it was a good movie. I'm really looking forward to Wall-E, Madagascar 2 and Quantum of Solace coming out.

Restaurant Review - Montrachet

I was taken to Montrachet last night for my birthday. I hadn't been there before, but it's on my list of "must do" restaurants. I have only ever heard good things about the place, and people generally rave about how it is the best restaurant in Brisbane. My boss knows the owner, Thierry, and also raves about it. He only eats at the best places and is extraordinarily picky, so I expected the place to be fantastic. He recommended I have the crab and cheese souffle for entree.

To further add to the hype, it has regularly been listed very highly in Australian Gourmet Traveller's Restaurant Guide Awards each year since it has opened, and I haven't read a bad review of it yet.

This site had the following comments from diners:

"If this isn't Brisbane's best restaurant, I'll eat my own head."
"Easily the best restaurant in Brisbane, the owners [sic] delightful, the staff professional and warm, not enough good things to say about Montrachet."
"The best food I have ever had."
"Absolutely delicious food. Had the crab souffle which was amazing!"
"Our waiter was very attentive and constantly ready to serve professionally and with a smile."

I must say I was very disappointed. I ordered a prawn "spring roll" for amuse bouche. It was oily, and had very little flavour. I then had the recommended crab & cheese souffle, while William ordered a scallop and truffle linguine dish. My souffle had clearly been in the oven too long. It was overdone, and the bisque accompanying it was burnt towards the edge of the plate, and congealed. William's scallops were overcooked and rubbery.

For mains, I ordered the bouillabaisse, and William ordered the much hyped steak frites. My bouillabaisse was ok, but nothing special. It was slightly overseasoned, and there wasn't really that much seafood in it. The aioli accompanying it had far too much garlic in it, which overwhelmed my taste buds and burnt my tongue. William's steak had a line of gristle running through it, and his frites were limp and seemed like they had been cooked some time ago and just left to sit out.

Dessert was somewhat better. I had the profiteroles and William had the chocolate and cognac ganache. Both were supposed to be served with a scoop of ice cream, but that was missing. William's ganache had so much cognac in it, I took one bite and nearly choked. It burned on the way down my throat.

The service wasn't exceptional either. We started off with one waiter, but while William was mid sentence asking for a wine recommendation, he just walked off. He was replaced by a waitress who didn't really seem that knowledgeable about the food. Again, William was mid sentence when she was taking our order when she suddenly turned around to start talking to another waiter. She also hovered over us throughout the meal, and asked at least twice through each course whether our meals were ok. I wanted to tell her that, no, they were awful, and I wasn't impressed. However, I am old fashioned and let the men speak for me when out at a restaurant, and William is much more polite than I am, so he said everything was fine.

And it wasn't like Thierry was off for the night and the sous chefs couldn't keep up the standard. I saw Thierry come out of the kitchen twice, so he was definitely there.

I don't know whether we just got a bad night, but I certainly wouldn't be recommending the place. I've had far better meals at E'cco, Absynthe, Shuck, B, Joseph Alexander's, Gianni's, 2 Small Rooms, Il Centro, Vanitas, and even Dell'Ugo at Southbank, and it's not really meant to be a high end restaurant!

Overall, I was very unimpressed by Montrachet. I don't know why people rave about it so. Perhaps they think because they've been told it's the best, they convince themselves of it? I don't know. All I know is that it certainly wasn't the best meal I've ever had. I can cook better than what I was served last night, and I hate going out to a restaurant when I know I can cook better than what I've just ordered and have to pay for.

We didn't tip.

News stupidity

"Hundreds at funeral watch Tom Carr-Boyd's last joyful moments alive."

I didn't realise drowing/suffocating in snow was so much fun.

"The family and friends of Australian Ben Cannon, killed in a base jumping accident in a notorious section of the Swiss Alps, have expressed shock and grief over his loss."

They're shocked he died base jumping? In a "notorious" section of the Swiss Alps? Are they serious?

At least so far there haven't been any ridiculous "he died doing what he loved" statements. Because, you know, of course the first dude would have loved getting buried in an avalanche, and of course the second dude would have loved crashing through trees after free falling, and then hitting the ground. Such great fun. Just like Steve Irwin loved getting stabbed by a sting ray and being poisoned. Must have been the greatest moment of his life.

I really hate how deaths are reported these days. And it's usually the ones where people have died out of utter stupidity that are reported as if the person is some great hero. Ugh.

Travel site

The travel site is finally up and running, and the first blog post is up. If you emailed me telling me you were interested in reading it, I will be sending you an email tonight with the link.

In other news, I have now had over 20 people apply for my job. I think I might have 3 decent ones out of that. Hopefully they're not too bad during the interview/testing stage!

Going to Death Cab for Cutie on Friday night. I'm not a great lover of live music (loud, crowds, people smell, etc), but I thought I would give it one more go since I love them so much. Hopefully they are so fantastic I stop concentrating on having to stand up all night, being so short I can't see anything, having people crowded around me and randoms touching me, the loudness of it, etc. We shall see!

Recruitment funnies

I am currently recruiting for my job, and these are some of the great things I've read in resumes:

I have excellent attention to detail. I have attached my CV for your convience.

Good with Microsoft Words.

Proven skills in organisation: Im living by myself I have to organise everything by myself, including living and studying.

Due to my extensive work experience, I have acquired an extremely high level of accuracy and computer skills and as a result my work is of the highest standard (and then made the following mistakes: collegues; competitons, liasing, among other grammatical errors).

I left due to personal reasons, and in particular a constant heavy workload (umm... so you're a slacker??)

Unfortunately, I was left with no other choice but to leave this position as my employer was not prepared to allow me time off (and she's applying for a role where she won't be allowed any time off in the entire 9 months she's here? I think she would have an issue with that.)

I also found this one really amusing for some reason:

Personal attributes: “Killer Instinct” – I believe this is what has enabled me to become one of ##’s top female drivers, competing in Winch Challenges. I enjoy the challenge and the dedication involved in pursuing anything that I am passionate about.

Possibly because I can't imagine a woman who competes in winch challenges would present themselves suitably in this position!

And the winner of dressing up your responsibilities to sound important is: Being part of the mailroom team, I recognised the crucial role of communication between our firm and others.

And my personal favourite:

Achievements: Elected Facebook forum moderator of ## group.

Dude, if that's your only achievement, you have led a very boring and unsuccessful life!

I also don't get why people list "interests" on their resumes. I honestly don't care that you collect cacti and succulents, or that you're interested in prog rock (yes, they were both included in the resumes I've received so far). I couldn't care less if you like to read the works of Proust in your spare time (no, noone actually listed that), I don't want to know that much about you. All I care about is your last education (don't stretch it back to high school if you've already completed tertiary), your appropriate work experience (don't list kitchen hand positions when applying for an administrative role!), and your references. That's it. And write in complete sentences! There is nothing I hate more than getting a resume full of dot points. It makes me livid. How on earth am I supposed to get a grasp of your written English skills when you haven't written anything?! Morons.

But despite this, I think I have one or two people that would do very well in this position. Once I teach them how to format documents properly. There is a ruler bar for a reason people! You do not need to space all the way into the middle of a document, or even tab 5 times. Set a tab on the ruler and tab once. That's all you need to do. It's not difficult. And it stops my eyes bleeding when I work with the paragraph markers on (which I do all of the time). Some of the documents I've gotten have just been a complete mess. I don't want those people touching my nice, clean documents!

I'm so hungry I could eat a whole zebra

This is what I have eaten for the WHOLE WEEK (since Saturday):

-7 pieces of bread
-1 avocado
-7 pears
-3.5 cups rice
-4 brussels sprouts
-7 broccoli florets
-7 cauliflower florets
-2 carrots
-2 celery sticks
-700g meat
-14 lettuce leaves
-7 mushrooms
-14 snow peas
-1/2 tomato

And I am STARVING!!!!! I've had constant stomach growls for 3 days now. I can't sleep properly because I keep waking up hungry. If I haven't lost any weight when my trainer weighs me this afternoon, that is it. I'm giving up. And going to see a doctor to see if I have inherited my mother's thyroid problem.

And then I'm going to go and eat a great big bowl of creamy mushroom pasta with truffles! Mmm, food!

UPDATE: I lost 2kgs! Wahoo! Only 8 more to go! Somewhat unfortunately, that means I have to stick to this diet, though. I was almost hoping I had a medical problem so I could stop eating so little. Oh well. My trainer has said I am allowed one meal a week where I can eat whatever I like, so at least that will keep me sane. Sadly, it looks like I shall be hungry for the next 16 weeks until I leave. I'll almost think squished guinea pigs look appealing!

*Nervous*

I think I am somewhat scared of going on my trip at the end of the year. I am normally so organised that I would have had everything booked months ago. As it is, I only just paid for the flights 2 weeks ago, and while I had the script for my first lot of vaccinations, I hadn't actually gotten it filled or booked in to see a doctor to get it administered. I hadn't looked at accommodation either, nor been to a backpacking/camping store to sort out the stuff I would need.

I think I was procrastinating because I'm a little bit scared about being so far out of my comfort zone. I will have to talk to people I don't know, get used to being in a third world country again (and all that entails hygienically and commercially), and deal with potentially dangerous situations - because let's face it, we are pretty lucky here in Australia. There's not much chance of being mugged or robbed, while in most countries in SA, and even Europe, pickpockets are very common, and hijacking/muggings aren't far behind.

So I guess my brain was sort of battling with me and was making me put off things that should have been organised a long time ago. So this week I got my act together. I have booked all of the South American accommodation. I have paid for the flights. I have paid for the travel insurance. I have booked my vaccinations in with the doctor. I've organised to go to a backpackers/camping store to check out all the gear and make a list. I have finally made some progress!

Now I just need to finalise my Europe itinerary and make a decision about what to do (ie, book hideously expensive hostels, or try couchsurfing.com). Thankfully I'm going to SA first, so I still have some time, but I would like to have all that sorted by the end of August.

I have bought a domain name and will be setting up a travel diary site with a photo gallery and blog and what not. If you're interested enough that you want to follow my travels around SA and Europe, email me and I will send you the link once it's up and running.

So yay for me! I have overcome my procrastination! Well, at least a little bit!

Ding Dong, The Crap Is Dead!

One of the main reasons I got Foxtel installed about 2 years ago was because of the awful reality shows on Channel 10 (and the constant sport on all channels). Let's face it, if you're not in the mood for political analysis, european porn, home make over shows or whatever awful crap Channel 7 shows, there's really only Channel 10 left to show something that doesn't make your eyes bleed. Unfortunately, they also eschew normal programming at many times throughout the year for Big Brother, Australian Idol and Rove (ugh).

I don't watch any of those awful shows. I did for the first seasons of each, but after that it's really only famewhores who ever try out for them, hoping to get their mug on TV. I must be one of the only ones who has no clue about any of the current BB contestants, or any from the last 6 years. I haven't even watched one minute of it. And I don't even know if Australian Idol is still going. I haven't watched it since that goofy afro guy won it.

Even so, I was absolutely thrilled when I read reports that BB is not coming back after this year. This country does not need more avenues for bogan famewhores to make fools of themselves on TV. That's what Today Tonight and A Current Affair are for. And maybe, although it's a slim chance, Channel 10 might replace said crap with something decent that I might be interested in enough to switch over from Lifestyle Food. God I love that channel. Except when that awful Nigella is on. I can't stand that woman. Serving pre-cooked shell-on prawns to your guests as an entree is not cooking!!!!!

Gym Progress Report 1

First session with the new trainer yesterday. She had planned a leg session. Bad move for the first session. I have stress fractures in my feet which make leg exercises very painful, not to mention I just hate doing legs in general. I don't know why, but leg exercises make me really cranky and frustrated. Anything else and I'm fine, but anything to do with legs and I nearly have a breakdown. I just get so cranky that I want to pick up a weight and throw it at someone's head. I hate, hate, hate doing legs. I don't know why it affects me so much.

So anyway, the new trainer is probably thinking I'm a weak, whiny little bitch. I was trying not to get too cranky, but she had me doing such awful exercises (bulgarian lunges - ugh) and I really just wanted to smack her across the face. Not to mention that my feet were absolutely killing me. The fractures are in my arches, so when my foot is placed in a weight bearing position and my arches flatten out to take the pressure, the fractures expand (if that makes any sense). It is extremely painful. I told her at our first information session that I can't do an entire leg session. I said I could only have weight bearing on my feet for a max of 15 minutes (in high heels it's not an issue, for some reason - I guess because all of the weight is directed towards the balls of your feet). Obviously she wanted to test my information.

We did 20 reps of leg press, then about 30 lunges (with a 5kg plate), then another 20 reps of leg press and another 30 lunges. After the first set of lunges I was already in pain. She then tried to get me back on the leg press to do another set of 120kg, and I did try, but after the first 2 I knew I couldn't do it. I told her we'd have to put an ab set in there or something. So she tried to get me do a "plank" (or hover, or prone hold or whatever you want to call it), but because my feet were so sore I couldn't do it. I can normally hold those for at least 3 minutes, but I think she stopped me after about 30 seconds. She moved me off my feet and wanted me to do leg raises (lay on your back, arms behind your head holding on to handles, and lift your legs straight up in the air and back down again). At that point I must have seemed like the worst client ever, because that is the only ab exercise I absolutely cannot do. I have a degenerative disease in L5/S1 in my back, and any exercise where my lower back is forced into a convex position absolutely kills me.

So we did another ab exercise that she uses on old people. Fine with me. We go back to do another set of leg press because my feet feel better, and then do some more abs, as well as reverse leg curl thingies. And after all those leg presses, lunges, leg curls, etc she decides she wants me to do Bulgarian lunges! I could already barely move my legs as it was! Bulgarian lunges are where you put one leg up on a bench behind you, and then step out with the other leg, and then lunge downwards. It requires some co-ordination of which I have none at the best of times, let alone when my legs are shaking. I was wobbling all over the place, and my feet were hurting, and my back problem meant I wasn't doing it how I was supposed to (you're meant to just go straight down, but that puts pressure on the wrong area for me, so I was tending to sort of move back and down at an angle), so it was all around just painful and annoying.

I also hate doing leg exercises because I did gymnastics when I was younger, and I tend to develop very bulky leg muscles when I train my legs. I hate that. I want the ability to wear skinny jeans, even if I would never actually wear them (they are a crime against fashion). You can't wear skinny jeans with awful bulky thigh muscles. Yuck.

So yes. A very frustrating session. I wish she'd chosen arms or chest or something for the first day. I guess I'll see how I go this afternoon.

At least she's better than my last trainer. I left the session feeling very ill. That hasn't happened in a long time.

She also gave me my eating plan yesterday. I am fairly certain I put "no protein shakes" on the list I gave her of what I would/wouldn't eat. Nevertheless they're on the plan. I'm just going to leave them out and drink water instead. Those things make me gag. Literally. Not pretty.

So cold!

Too cold for typing. My fingers will snap off.

Unnecessary Feminism

To start with, I received some good news this week. I only have 2 subjects to complete before I graduate one of my degrees. The bad thing was, one of them was unavailable as "after hours" study. It was looking as though I would have to return next year to do it, which I didn't want to do. I emailed the uni and they have agreed to substitute that subject for another one. Which is great. But the subject they're allowing me to do is in an area I hate and am not good at because it involves creativity. So that sucks. And it's on Friday nights from 6 to 9. So that sucks too. But I suppose at least I will be able to graduate at the end of the semester.

In other news, I am having an argument on a forum I read. The feminists have come out of the woodwork and once again suggested women in the workforce are discriminated against in terms of pay and what not. I just simply do not agree with this. They've tried to quote studies showing the average woman's salary is lower than the average man's. I countered with the fact that women traditionally choose lower paying occupations than men (teacher/clerical over skilled tradesmen, etc). They then said that women within the same occupation as men are being paid less. I just don't believe it. There are so many different variables when dealing with employment, and I think it's far too simple for women to reduce it to a gender dispute and say the reason they're not being paid the same is because they're a woman.

What if the man doing the same job as them is simply doing a better job? What if he's putting in more productive hours? What if his work ethic and quality of work are higher? What if he has better qualifications/better experience? Why should anyone (man or woman) who is not up to the same level be paid the same amount just because the two people share the same job description? I don't think that's fair to the employer.

Also, I believe women choose to work for employers who pay less salary, but offer more "fringe benefits", such as access to childcare, or flex time, or maternity leave, or other sorts of things. The employer offers a "package", but the salary by itself might be lower than that offered by another firm who is not so flexible, simply because it would be stupid financially for the flexible employer to offer both a stellar salary as well as all of the added benefits. Therefore, the woman is going to be earning less than a man who is not interested in such benefits.

The feminists on the forum were also going on about how it's the right of a woman to have children and it's not a choice, and the workforce should recognise this. WTF?! It IS a choice, and it's a privilege, not a right! Just because you've got the equipment doesn't mean you have to use it! It's because of all the women out there who don't view having children as a privilege that we have so many abused and neglected children in the world. Just because you CAN have children doesn't mean you SHOULD! And it IS a choice to have children. No one is forcing you to have them. You do not HAVE to procreate. If you DECIDE to procreate, you should also realise that your choice may have an impact on other areas of your life, and you should take that into consideration. It might not be "fair", but women are traditionally the primary caregivers. If you decide to have children, you have to take into account that maybe you won't be able to put in as many hours at the office, and that might adversely affect your career.

The feminists were shouting that men have been able to have children and a career, so why shouldn't women. They can. If their husband is the primary caregiver. I really don't see that you can have both. You can't be a primary caregiver as well as focus on your career. One of them has to give. It's a choice you have to make. And sticking your kids in child care/after school care for hours so you can stay at work means you are no longer the primary caregiver in my opinion.

I just don't see why feminists are still arguing about this in this day and age. There are so many more factors involved. It's far too easy for women to cry foul and suggest the discrepancies are due to the fact they don't have a penis. It's far too easy for them to suggest it's all the employer's fault, and ignore the fact that perhaps they just didn't *deserve* the same rate of pay as another male employed in the same role (or another woman for that matter, but they never make that suggestion, do they?). No two employees are ever going to be exactly the same, and the combination of experience/qualifications/work ethic one has compared with another is always going to be more valuable to different employers. Therefore, the two employees should not be paid the same in my opinion.

Then they started bringing out the "my sister/friend/mother/cousin was told she wouldn't be employed because she said she wanted to have children within 3 years in the interview! That's so unfair!" statements. Well of course an employer isn't going to hire a woman who wants to have children over a candidate that's going to stay on long term! It doesn't make sense financially! If I were an employer, I certainly wouldn't hire someone who said they were going to leave within 3 years either. Why should I waste time, money and resources on training them up when I'm only going to have to do the same thing again in 3 years' time? Or worse - be forced to pay maternity leave AND have to hire a replacement for the person while they're gone - that's double the cost! It simply doesn't make sense from a financial point of view.

I am sick to death of women wanting to have their cake and eat it too. You can't have everything. Yes, it might suck and it might be unfair, but stop getting emotionally involved and look at the situation realistically!

The "I can't believe a young woman is making these comments" outcry has just begun now. Apparently I should be burning my bras *just* because I'm a young woman. I don't think so. I think feminists in Australia today are full of crap and are unnecessary. I think the early work done by the women's movement was very brave and has gotten us to where we are today. I am grateful for those women and I admire them. But I don't think it's necessary in Australia any longer. I think the feminists just want to have something to whinge about. They should go to a country like Moldova where women are bought and sold, trafficked to work in forced prostitution, with insufficient government attention to protect their rights and punish the traffickers and then see how lucky they are to be living in this country with, in my opinion, no discrimination whatsoever. They should stop trying to manipulate statistics to try to create issues that aren't there. I really believe any discrepancies in pay between men and women can be easily explained by any number of realistic viewpoints.

Thoughts?

Wah wah wah

Recently I have put on some weight. Mostly in the upper arm and chest area, but there's a fair smattering across the rest of me, too. I am exceedingly unhappy about this situation.

I signed up with a PT a year ago now, and I see him 4 times a week for 45 minutes. While I have gotten stronger, I haven't lost any weight, and in recent months have actually started putting it on. And it's not muscle weight, because I don't actually weigh myself. It's fat, and I can't fit into 90% of my clothes anymore. This frustrates me.

I don't understand it, really. I exercise regularly, and up until a few weeks ago, was eating quite healthy (during exams, I tend to need jelly beans to keep my concentration). Then I realised my trainer just didn't really care anymore. He is phoning it in, so I stopped eating properly, which obviously didn't help the situation.

When I first started with my trainer, I should have realised he wasn't "weight oriented." He didn't weigh me, didn't take any measurements, etc. Just started straight out with the weights. We hardly do any cardio. I think he thinks it's boring to stand beside a treadmill for 15-20 minutes not doing anything, even though he knows those 4 sessions with him are all that I do, because I won't go to a gym by myself (I'm inherently lazy and need to have paid someone to be there so I'll actually go), so we should be doing some cardio sessions.

He makes up excuses on why we don't do cardio. He tries to make it seem like it's my idea that I don't want to focus on weight loss. He actually once said to me, "I think you're the type of girl who'd have to starve herself to be thin." What?! Dude, a few years ago I weighed 48kgs and ate like a horse. I'm only 5'2". I'm not meant to be above 55kgs max. I have a very small frame that does not hide any additional kilos well. What bullshit.

Anyway, I have finally given up on him. Miss Giggles has been talking up the trainer she and a friend use, so I have decided to leave my gym and trainer and see if this other chick will work for me. I really need someone to push me really hard and practically kill me each session. I'm more than happy to go on a very strict diet. I used to be vegan, so I'm used to not being able to eat much.

I really hope this works, because I am sick to death of being this fat (even though most people say I'm not - I'm a size 10 at the moment, but trust me, for me, that is bordering on obese. I'm very short and I can't hold that much weight elegantly!). I just want to be able to try on a top without getting my fat arms stuck in the sleeves, or having the buttons wanting to bust over my chest. I'd like to walk down the street with my shoulders back without immediately wanting to hunch over because my chest is sticking out so far. I do not understand why girls get boob jobs. I hate my chest being this size. It hurts my back, makes my bras dig into me, means I can't wear so many different types of clothes because they look awful with huge boobs falling out of them, and just generally make me self conscious. If all else fails, I will totally have them surgically reduced. I can't stand them. I hate my body so much right now that I'm not even doing any fashion designing. I don't want to make any nice clothes, because I know they'll look awful on me right now.

*sigh*. I'll keep you updated as to my progress. I see the new trainer as of 9 July (I've paid up front with my current trainer, so I have to finish my sessions). Hopefully by December I'll be back to at least an 8, if not the 6 I'm meant to be!

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

After my final exam on Friday, William took me out to dinner (mmm, truffle mash!). It was good, but the dessert menu wasn't inspiring, so we went to Baskins instead.

We had already placed our orders and were just lingering in front of the counter when a girl (who, I will admit, looked like the stereotypical "butch" lesbian) peeked her head around me, obviously trying to see the flavours. I tried to push William over, but he didn't move, so I just walked around the other side of him to get out of this girl's way so she could see what she wanted.

As I stood there, she looked me up and down a few times and had this strange look on her face. I smiled back at her. Then she said something so ridiculously offensive I still haven't quite gotten over it.

"It's ok, I won't touch you."

I was really confused for half a second. What on earth did she mean? Oh... wait... she couldn't possibly?... she doesn't mean?... She does! She honestly thought I moved out of her way because she's a lesbian! What the fuck?! I said, "What? Oh, no, I was moving out of your way so you could see..." but I don't think I was convincing. It probably didn't help that when I tried to push William over, he didn't move, so it would have looked like I was moving behind him to hide from her.

I just can't describe how offended I was she thought that. I have never, in my entire life, ever had a problem with gay people. Ever. There was one gay guy I worked with that I didn't like, but that was because he was an idiot in general, not because he was gay. I felt like trying to explain to this girl that she had me all wrong, that there was no way I'd ever discriminate against someone like that, but "the lady doth protest too much" ran through my head, so I didn't bother. If she wanted to think she'd been treated badly by some stranger, there wasn't much I could do about it.

But it's still baffling me. Why would you immediately jump to that conclusion in a confined space, when you're trying to look at the products that someone else is standing in front of? Why would you immediately think that them moving was because they were trying to get away from you and not because they were simply being polite and giving you the space to look at the products? Weird.

Going to a show on Friday night with William's mother and sister. Somebody please save me. Also, they're getting a lift with me from the city to our place beforehand so they can change. I guarantee my driving is going to get some remarks. I drive like a normal, maniacal city driver, and I'm not going to change that just because they're in the car. Still, I bet I cop it for driving too close/fast/whatever. Ugh. And I'll have just been to the gym, so I'll be all sweaty and tired and cranky (Friday is legs day. I hate legs). Fun fun.

Back soon

Away studying for final exams. I'm sure you all miss me terribly.

Wahoo!

I have been putting it off for months, but with great trepidation finally told my boss I was going travelling in December for 8 months, but would like to come back.

He said, "Of course I want you to come back." Yay!

So now I just need to find someone who is good enough that I don't have to fix 8 months of mistakes when I get back, but not so good he thinks they're better than me and changes his mind about getting me back. Tough!

Long ranty post ahead...

I don't remember if I mentioned this previously, but I had an issue with a group assignment this semester. Actually, I always have issues with group assignments (I'm always saddled with the slackers, for some reason), but this time I actually petitioned to have the problem member removed from the group.

So, for a brief history, it was a group of 4, including two international students that had landed in Australia in February (read: very little command of the English language). I was already worried, because as everyone knows, I'm a complete nazi when it comes to written reports (grammar, spelling, etc). I elected to be the proof reader straight up to ensure we at least submitted something coherent (which essentially increased my workload x 3, because I basically had to rewrite the ISs contributions from scratch - lovely girls, but what they wrote was not English). The other student was a young girl, about 19, who honestly thought she was top shit and knew more than the rest of us, and wanted to take control of the group.

The assessment consisted of two pieces - an oral and a report. D (the young girl) decided to choose the first topic, which meant the oral was due the next week, and we would have only that weekend to work on it. The rest of us agreed because she was just so adamant about it (and to be honest, I do like to get group assignments out of the way as soon as possible). We agreed to meet that weekend. Myself and the ISs prepared before the meeting and brought various analysis models and other notes with us. D did not appear to have done anything, but battled me for control of the group, and then started delegating tasks. Funnily enough, she delegated herself a section which I and another girl (K) had already covered in our notes, so she didn't have to do any research. She also gave herself another part to do which we hadn't covered yet.

Over the next few days, D was sending the group emails about the work, asking everyone to send through their contributions, and generally making it seem like she was on top of the work. I was putting the written report together from everyone's notes, and also doing the Powerpoint presentation. I kept asking her for her notes for the slides and for the report, but she only sent through some vague dot points, which I really didn't think were correct, but she just kept arguing with me about it, so I let it go.

5 minutes before the presentation, she decides to scrap the part she was supposed to research herself, leaving only the part that K and I had done. So in essence, she had done no work on the oral.

We then had 7 weeks to hand in the written report. The two ISs and myself worked on it steadily over those weeks, and D kept sending emails asking for everyone's contribution, so it made it seem like she was up with the work. Whenever I asked her for her contribution to put in the report, however, she'd make some vague excuses and tell me she'd send it in a couple of days.

By the day the report was due, I still didn't have her contribution, and I was very sceptical that what she had told the rest of us to write was correct. I'd said as much to the ISs, but they didn't want to go against her, because she was a bit scary to them. I wasn't happy, but I went along with it anyway. 2 hours before it's due, and I call her, because I still don't have her part. She tells me she's just about to send it. I tell her I'll be leaving work at 4.40 to go up to the uni to hand it in by 5. 4.30 - no report. 4.40 - no report. I call her - no answer. 4.45 - she finally sends something through. It's 50 words. In dot points. And it's complete rubbish that makes absolutely no sense. I put it in the report anyway and walk up to uni.

I speak to K and W, and they agree we should speak to the tutor (although to be honest, I'm not exactly sure they understood what I was talking about). I show the tutor the report, and show him D's contribution. He looks at it, says it's all wrong, and then says the rest of the report is all wrong as well, just as I thought. He gives us that night and the next to redo the entire report and hand it in again (which I thought was quite nice of him).

I make the executive decision not to include D in the rewrite. As far as I'm concerned, my responsibility to her ended at 5pm. She didn't even show up to hand in the report, and having sent through such rubbish 15 minutes before the due time said to me that she didn't care about the assignment, or the consequences for the rest of the group members. I suspect she sent it through so late so I couldn't ask her to redo it. 15 minutes beforehand means no time for review/correction.

Anyway, the rest of us rewrote the assignment over the next two nights, even though I had two other assignments to finish and two exams on the weekend to study for. We got it in on the Friday, and received 80% for it (which is decidedly less than I would have liked, but short of doing the ISs work for them, it was the best we could do).

I also made a decision not to speak to D about the situation. I figured she could find out from the tutor that the rest of us had filled in peer evaluation sheets saying she didn't deserve any of the marks.

I thought the tutor had discussed it with her, so I was surprised to get an sms from her yesterday asking what "our" result was for the assignment. I told her she'd have to speak to the tutor. She then sent an email to us today that basically said she was disappointed about it, and that she was going to appeal the result. I wrote back and said if she could prove she'd done the work, I was happy for her to get the same mark as the rest of the group. I told her why we'd decided to do what we did - she didn't do any work for the oral, save for show up and talk about the analyses that K and I had done, and that she had done very little for the report, and what she had done was completely wrong, and had been sent in with no time for review or correction. I told her the final report that was handed in had none of her work in it.

She then wrote back and said we should have discussed it with her, and that our actions were underhanded, and that she wasn't a slacker and was really upset about it, because she'd had glandular fever for the last 2 months.

I replied that if that was the case, she'd have a doctor's certificate to show to the unit co-ordinator to get her mark reviewed. I also said it was her responsibility to let us know if she'd been having problems, and didn't think she could get the work done. I told her she'd had 7 weeks to let us know. If she'd let us know she wasn't well, we could have worked something out. I also said if what she'd sent through had been correct, we might not have kicked her off the report. It was a combination of it being completely wrong, inadequate, and sent in 15 minutes before the deadline.

She then wrote back that her doctor's certificate only started the week after the report was due, and that she wasn't going to contest the decision because she was too upset about it.

Um, what? You're so upset about it you're not going to contest it? After you said at first you were going to appeal it? Riiight. I wrote back and told her she really should speak to the unit co-ordinator and if she'd had glandular fever for 2 months, she could probably get a report from the doctor to say so, which would help her. I even offered to contact the unit co-ordinator for her to help her cause (I was trying to be nice, but I'm not entirely sure why).

She then said, "Well, i was unaware that you had a problem with my work, and considering that my illness occured after the report was submitted, i didnt think it to be any consequence. Furthermore, if my part was wrong, its not like i did it intentially and i would have been grateful to be able to re do my part. It would have not only benefitted the group, but also myself and my personal knowledge in relation to the exam. Due to the fact that it's so late in the term, i am unable to find anyone to explain my misunderstandings to me, and thus am at a disadvantage for the exam.

I just wish that i was aware of the situation sooner, say perhaps during the 7 weeks we worked together, or even after you had issues with my contribution to the presentation.

I dont want to persue the issue any further due to the fact that it is making me extremely upset, as i have never been accused of this before, and i have much more assessment to complete and this issue is hindering my ability to think coherently.

Thank you anyway, but the damage is done."

I'm sorry, but hang on here. So you weren't sick during the weeks the report was due? So what was your excuse then? Yes, you could have redone your part if you'd sent it to me earlier! Sending it to me 15 minutes before it's due means none of us has a chance to review it and correct any mistakes! We took you off the report after we were given a chance to rewrite it because we were given a chance to rewrite because your contribution was both inadequate and wrong! Why would we then ask you to contribute to the final report when all you would do is say you'd send something else through and then not follow through, as you'd done the 7 weeks previously? Not to mention you'd been saying the whole time how the report should be written, telling me I was wrong, when in actual fact it was you that was wrong, and me that was correct. Why would we want you to contribute again when we'd had nothing but problems with you?

Also, you never show up to tutorials or lectures, so it's hardly our fault that you haven't been able to work out why your thinking is wrong. Perhaps if you showed up to class you might actually learn something!

As for letting you know about this situation during the 7 weeks we were doing the report - what the fuck?! We didn't know there was a problem until 15 minutes before the deadline, because you didn't tell us you were having problems and weren't going to be sending anything through until the last minute! How the fuck were we supposed to discuss it with you when you made it appear you were up with the work, sending emails to the other group members asking for their contributions?! As far as I'm concerned, that was part of your whole deception. Try to make it look as if you were working the whole time, when you really were just slacking off, and thinking you could get away with it because you'd kept up the emails.

As far as I'm concerned my responsibility to you ended on the deadline. If you want to send through substandard work with no time for review, making it clear you don't care about the assessment or the consequences for the rest of the group members, than I'm not going to discuss the matter with you any further. So no, I don't think I should have discussed it with you after the deadline. As far as I was concerned, you were dead to me after that. I don't suffer fools gladly.

So you think you were hard done by, but you don't want to pursue the matter further? That says more to me than anything else. If I was part of a group that kicked me out, and I honestly thought I'd contributed equally, I'd certainly be pursuing it further, showing copies of notes and anything else I had. The fact that you're not going to bother disputing a zero grade tells me you have nothing to back your claims up, because you really didn't do any work, and thought you could just get away with it.

Yes, the damage is done. You did it to yourself. Don't come crying to me. Unfortunately for you, I've had 7 years of shitty group assignments, and I will not tolerate slack students joining groups and not contributing anything, and then expecting to receive full marks. You can just fuck right off.

I didn't send that response. I didn't send any response. I ignored her after that.

God, I am so grateful I only have 2 more subjects of this degree left, and that I have no more group assignments in my second degree, and no group assignments at all in the third, because I study that one externally. I love external study! No stupid bogan teenagers, no group assignments, no classes to attend! Bliss.

Anyway, do you think I was harsh? Were we justified in kicking her out?

I couldn't agree more, kitty

Save the sharks

I know I've railed against charities before (particularly the ones who harass people in the street), but I saw Sharkwater the other night, and I would highly recommend you go and see it.

I don't really swim in the ocean, largely because I'm afraid of waves (yes, waves. I don't like being splashed), but I have been diving at the Great Barrier Reef, and have also watched William swim with sharks at Seaworld. I don't have a great fear of sharks, and when you look at the statistics of how many people they kill each year (about 5, compared with hundreds of thousands from drugs, traffic accidents, etc), there really is no reason for anyone to be terrified of them. Think about it - people swim in oceans all the time (particularly in shark feeding zones), and less than 10 people each year are killed by sharks? People have greater respect for the territory of elephants, and they kill more people each year than sharks do. Ridiculous.

The film was really an eye opener to the treatment of sharks, and in particular the finning business. I was so appalled. I am now trying to work out a way I can assist somehow (financially or otherwise). Sea Shepherd are one of the only organisations fighting for the protection of sharks. Millions of sharks are killed each year, many inhumanely, and hardly anything is being done about it. As the film says, if they are wiped out, humans are at great risk, because the fish populations below them (which they currently control) will go out of control, with many feeding on the plankton that produces 70% of the world's oxygen, which we breathe. Imagine what would happen if sharks were wiped out, causing fish populations to explode, eating more of the plankton and thus depleting our oxygen? Catastrophe.

Something needs to be done about this now.

I really do urge you to go and see the film. I swear your opinion of sharks will be changed. They're not manhunters. They just very rarely make mistakes and confuse us for food. It's not intentional. They don't deserve the harsh treatment currently being meted out to them.

www.sharkwater.com; www.savingsharks.com